EnderFlash

Note: This review has been deleted

HEHEHEHEHE I'M HERE TO REVIEWWWWWWWW Let us start... with nitpicking . “Nononono Don't tell me! Either the don't needs to be lowercase, or there needs to be a period/exclamation mark ...

You should separate the paragraphs more. Right now, each one stands as an intimidating block of text, and I have a hard time keeping track of which line I'm on ...

...isolated of towns. But it was not a police siren. Don't start a sentence with 'but'; Connect it to the last one, or just don't use it at all. If ...

I notice that this chapter had a lot of tense shifting, so double-check next time. Keep it all in past, or all in present, not both. 'You're invited' nice and ...

He winced at the mention of his grandfather “William the Conqueror, Henry the first, and Stephen the joke.” This line is confusing. Who's saying this? Why is he saying this? ...

Yes, the format is rather weird xD I'll ignore the random fonts format changes. This is a nice story! I want to remind you that for ending the dialogue, there ...

The first paragraph will be mostly my opinion. The description in this chapter is both a draw and a drawback, for me. I think that, since Tessa seems to be ...

In the first line, Slamming his own down, Wolfe growled, "Pick up your damn phones!" , it's awkward for the object to be introduced after it's used. It may sound ...

The first paragraph is a little vague. Who's they? Since no one has been introduced yet, the pronoun is not used well. I know that this is a continuation of ...

The tense issues- Oh wait, someone already covered that. Eh, let's go on, then. "The Overlord ran the hand that snapped through her pitch-black hair." What? ... What? This sentence ...

Hello there! I am reviewing this chappie... More than a month after you posted that message on my profile! I am so behind.... Alright, to the reviewing. Your description of ...

Alright! I'm new to this reviewing thing, so let's see how I do. Overall, your story is fine. I'm not used to the present tense, but hey, it's consistent as ...

Alright, time to annoyingly nitpick again! AHAAHAHAHAHAHA I'MSORRYPLZDON'THATEME First off, I'd like to say that mid-chapter A/Ns... aren't my favorite thing. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like these

Pretty good! I'm going to ignore the fact that this was really random, since I think that was your point. I might sound like a little bit of a hypocrite ...