EmiSukotto16

It dances across the night like a fly. This line made me pause while I was reading your poem. A fly dancing across the night? It's not common knowledge to ...

This is a really good poem, and I love the concept and rhyme scheme. However, the line "not compliment, mockery or even praise", and a few after it, disrupt the ...

If I may correct McMourning on that last part of their post; the rhyming of "gone" and "done" is a visual rhyming, such as 'grown' and 'gown'. It sometimes throws ...

This is a great poem. It kind of tells a story, while at the same time, I see in it a message about the closeness of what is considered ugly ...

Blue eyes, I remember when I first meet you. I think that should be 'met'. I wonder when we’ll meet [color=gree]again. Blue eyes, I wish I could see you again ...

Really good. It is very well written. greenjay: "He stood tiredly" would be better. I agree with greenjay I found this piece very interesting and can't wait to read more! ...

I live with two ginger-haired people. One being my mom and the other being my brother. I mostly get criticism for my blonde hair. They ask me the question, also, ...

Okie dokie. It's good read, and it really flows (for me). I just have to comment spelling and grammar (Yay! :elephant:) You are DEFINATELY not who I thought you was. ...

I felt you used too many adjectives. For instance: A feeble stream of obsidian smoke rose from the decrepit body of the wheezing creature. Every other word is an adjective. ...

Mr. Tony, Ayumi and I told you what we thought about this character, and you wouldn't listen. There's no reasonable way someone can kill a person in a single glance. ...

I think the italics just don't work on YWS, but I really like it. It really drew me in and I can't wait for the continuation. One thing bugged me, ...