Emerson

I spaced this out for you, so it's nice and easier to read. In the future, you should space it out like I did. It is easier on the eyes.

I spaced your work out so its easier to read. You should put full breaks in between your paragraphs, as seen above.

Merci everyone, yes, I certainly like the less strict poem one, and I really love this form. Maybe I'll write a few more like the first. I liked that one ...

Thanks all! Colleen — I edited it with your comments in mind. I'd explain "Beauty" to you, but if it needs explaining then it must not be a very good ...

I've been wanting to pick it up, being the vampire fan that I am, so perhaps now I will? If Jiggy's reading it, that must mean something!

Arguing over a sweet? like.... a piece of candy? The language you use is just bizarre. It's hard to pick up what its about. Because the language is so, and ...

I'm back for more! *dances in the flowers and bonbons* The spirits gathered the sprite sighed in resignation I think you need a comma here somewhere. Or....something. So, the whole ...

Merci :-) I really needed that, otherwise, it would gone on forever, unmarked with the good pen of anyones edit.

Well if you insist on using quotes, then I insist that it should be properly punctuated then :-) I'll take a chunk out and show you. “I am. I exist. ...

Finally, for my critique! Yes, please do work on the punctuation. And, what is the point? Might I ask. This verges close to the usual teen love poetry, but in ...

I'm all on your side :-) I'm poetic (And I don't even completly agree with that) but I need to work on my ideas. I need to find a better ...

Merci Chandni! I've agreed with both points that the rhyming and the French were bad. But I think I'll go with Colleen's word and come back to the general theme ...

Thanks Colleen! Yes, I actually hate this poem the most out of anything I've written. It's ugly and I put no effort into it. I think it was more that ...

Thanks for the nice critique, even if it is to your own downfall :-) I edited it above. I'll admit, I wrote this much on the go so it probably ...

I felt to lazy to edit, so I haven't done much yet to the previous chapters. But here's number four! I hope it pleases and teases. ---- Chapter Four With ...