Emerson

You spaced this one out! =O hee hee I really liked this. I didn't expect either. Was this a new plot idea? Really, really interesting, and shocking. No complaints from ...

I agree, lots of telling! And I would say more, but it seems wordy-ish and so my brain freaks out and doesn't comprehend it well x_x you'll have to forgive ...

Hm, the scenes are slightly cleaner, but it is still somewhat jumpy at the beginning. Dismayed comma I hailed a cab and headed for home. Improvising comma I shoved all ...

Oh, this was beautiful. I have found an example where lack of capitalization works! I really can't think of anything else to say... perhaps tomorrow I'll have more to say ...

Gah, I can't help but love the poem, and agree with everyone else. It had it's beauty to it, but to me I felt like it was lacking more behind ...

Er, calling him the master isn't too cliché. Or at least, she can continue to do so, imo. I mean, vampire-wise, it is cliché. But also vampire-wise, in almost everything ...

=P I should search things more. Maybe it is just that it isn't punctuated, but if I expand the line: Technicians hazmat suit-clad Technicians hazardous material suit-clad, etcetera It still ...

Ah, you asked me to come back and take a look, didn't you? It seems exactly the same as before although it reads smoother - and was it punctuated before? ...

I liked it! The only thing I have to nit pick on [I don't know if snoink said it?] is the spacing in between each lines and the last line. ...

What's with the strikethru bit's though? I understand what you're doing, but it looks a bit untidy. Could you do it some other way? That was all Meshugenah =/ Thanks ...

Fand> I've never read Whit Oleander . =[ I want to, though! so, no. Part DEUX! The investigator looked uncomfortable. Maybe his tie was too tight around his neck, or ...

As it is, it works decently as a poem, but it feels very prose-y to me--like if you're not doing rhyming, rhythmic poetry with a set format, it comes out ...

I gave it an R rating, so, yeah. Nice way to get back into the series, I'm liking it a lot. You had all my favorite things in it. *too ...

you consistanly write "breath" instead of "breathe". Unless I've missed something? No, I'm sure that is a mix up, because I don't know the difference and it only gets caught ...

This actually happened? You get panic attacks? Sorry, that wasn't terribly diplomatic. I don't mind being asked about it :-) I kind of like telling people, because it can go ...