Emerson

I second Colly. ^^ Make reviews, spread the love! Welcome to YWS, as well. Why not post in the welcome section, if you haven't yet? This poem doesn't say a ...

Oh, Serj Tankian is great. ^^ As to this, is it meant to be poetry, or lyrics? As poetry, it isn't the best. You repeat the line "right?" which doesn't ...

I don't like it because it doesn't make me feel anything. In the end I asked myself, "What did he just tell me?" and honestly, I couldn't really answer that ...

The weird spaces between your lines make this annoying to read, but I'm sure it is just a formatting error. ^_^ She was going to seat [s]her self[/s] herself on ...

O! this poem is too long. And it desperately needs punctuation. At the age of thirteen, I had never read much poetry. I'm assuming you, too, have not read much ...

Trying to ignore those arguments previously mentioned, Colly is right. Some of these lines are fantastic. I for one am I strong believe in punctuation making a poem stronger, because ...

Your punctuation is a bit chaotic in places. For example: Repeatedly bitten, by a thousand Gleaming star-strewn eyes. And yet the sting dulls into Oblivion, amnesia’s innocent surprise. This could ...

Hello Darling! The bluish light shines through the liquid in the bag, making me nearly sick as I watch the swirling [s]particals[/s] particles of who-knows-what inside it. I think saying ...

I like it but I think it lacks a much needed flow. Each stanza seems to stand so strongly on its own that they don't stand too well together, or ...

He waited for some time to tell he how he really felt. He hesitated for he did not want they bond to end. You have some typos in these lines. ...

Wow. First off, punctuation is your best friend. You're not ignoring it all together, you're just neglecting it occasionally. I suggest you punctuate this so it makes grammatical sense. It ...

I think this poem has a lot of potential, you just need to know where to go with it. As such, I'll pick it apart and offer many suggestions! They ...

Please pardon that it has taken me so long to finally get this critique to you. :) For the sake of three weeks, [s]it[/s] the island (or my island) served ...

I suggest you buy a book of poetry and spend some times reading it and enjoying it. First of all, it's hard for me as a reader to associate with ...

Hey there Suzie Cake! First I would like to welcome you to YWS. If you have any questions or need help with something on the site, feel free to pm ...