EloquentDragon

Ita and the Forming of the World Long ago, before the first age when the stars shone with song all day, and the sun never set, yet never rose, and ...

Yeah well... the site is killing my formatting. I just spent 20 minutes spacing it and going through and getting rid of those ???. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME!?!?!?

eh... Interesting format, but verb choice and wording seem sort of mundane/cliche to me. Two questions: 1. why spell all your "of's" "ov's"? 2. Why is there a "One! Two! ...

Aergh...must...fix...stupid formatting later...

Hey, this is amazing dude. Everything's polished about it....I know exactly who this guy is, where he is...your description is great. The dialogue is amazing too, now I feel as ...

Hey Hei! (I love being able to say that.) So, first off, I really want to now more about this. It spunds like an interesting, fresh story with a lot ...

Well, this is very good, I'm now very interested in your story. Overall, the prose flowed nicely, and description of the setting was really good in the second paragraph....however.... 1. ...

Ooh, wow. This is depressing. I liked it though, however. The characters surrounding the MC seem a little flat...it's very short, I know, but try not to make them too ...

So I didn't read chapter one but... Overall, I love your syntax, everything has a very nice, professional flow to it. I have only two things: 1. how are you ...

Yeah, just go back and edit. (I don't read romance but you might get some reviews that way :p )

First of all: this should have been posted in the "Ask An Excerpt" forum, since your new here. :p Okay so.... goes against dystopian? Huh? Sounded like city of ember ...

Okay, this is really nice. Grabbed me immediatly when the image of the bullet was given. However, I think it needs just a bit more polishing with the sentence variation. ...

I did a huge review and I lost might show up later as a guest's post. Sorry

okay I thought there was just one location. Maybe you should change that. ;) Also, ignore my comments about the blood. If it's a dream thing it dosen't matter. ;P ...

Hello, ED here to review. I'm just taking chunks as a read, so here goes! “Fifteen years,"---Of what? Fifteen years since then? "surprised all of civilization." hmm, this seems a ...