Tears. They streamed down his cheeks, like they never had before. His body trembled with grief, and the girl in his arms frowned in disapproval, like she used to, like she didn't have a bullet through her heart.
"Why are you crying?" she whispered. The man took her hand as she reached up to touch his cheek. He forced a weak, weary smile.
"Everything will be alright." He promised, his eyes reflecting her dirty and bloodstained face. She had never been more beautiful to him.
"You've never lied before." The girl's eyes turned sad. Kyro squeezed her hand, his eyes narrowing in attempt to block the tears.
"I'm not lying. You'll be fine. You have to be fine."
"Kyro, there's something I have to...tell you..."
"No. No, be quiet. save your energy." Kyro insisted, brushing her hair off her forehead with his free hand. The girl smiled, and Kyro's heart seized. The tears were unstoppable now. He hadn't cried in ten years. His heart had vanished ten years ago, and just when he'd found it again, the world tore it apart. "Don't. Don't." his voice cracked and he hunched over her, his forehead touching hers.
"Listen. Kyro...promise me...something."
"Yes." Kyro murmured, his voice choked.
"Don't be sad."
Kyro buried his face in her hair, listening to her slowing heartbeat. "Stop it." his voice was pure aunguish. This was why he didn't love. Because love tore apart the peaceful numbness he'd come to know.
"I love you, Kyro. Now forget me, and go on with life. A better life. Promise me, Kyro!"
Kyro lifted his head to look into her eyes. They were not scared, as they should be. Rather, they were accepting, but also sad. Not for leaving her life, but for leaving his. Kyro closed his eyes. He tightened his grip, pulling her closer to his chest as her breathing finally stopped.
"I promise." He whispered, and watched her smile as the life left her eyes. Her blue eyes.
And after that night, when Kyro held his bleeding lover in his arms, he forgot her, as he'd promised. He forgot the girl that had changed his life for good. He forgot the girl with the blue eyes. But he never stopped loving her.
*Author's Note:
Okay, so, this is actually a piece of one of my character's history. I haven't uploaded the book Kyro's in yet but this is something that happened to him in the past. I was bored.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
Okay, this is really nice. Grabbed me immediatly when the image of the bullet was given. However, I think it needs just a bit more polishing with the sentence variation. Things start to sound the same after a bit. Also, the first part seems a bit melodramatic, and this sentence right here was awkward: "Rather, they were accepting, but also sad."---I would look for a way to change that.
Overall it was good, but not as compelling or as long as I would have liked it to be. Also, the last paragraph kind of...slips.
I have three questions: How/why was she killed, how old is this guy, Kyro, and why did he forget her?
Anyway, looking forward to more.
~ED