Elizabeth

I thought this was really beautiful short story... I am not sure if I would want you to expand it or not, but it was beautifully written... It's nearly 11 ...

The ending seemed to scare me... I mean... seriously... it scared me... Oh my god I'm so scared... Oh god... Was it JUST roleplay she was doing with the dolls ...

It wasn't as dark as your other things but it was so funny. I know I wouldn't be easily fed that last line if it came to that... I can ...

hmm... don't like it :P sorry.... ... just don't :P Types ---schmypes....

This was pretty good, I could get the accent down. I saw that picture before, last month or so, we had to do something similar. I was heading off to ...

In the first haiku, it was 5-6-5 not 5-7-5 I liked this otherwise, I never really liked Haikus but these were an acception, but haikus are generally too short for ...

Shouldn't: ".... your truly seen in the darkness" Be you're? Anyway I liked it... I got this image of a restless boy who's too physical and it's annoying... It sounds ...

“hey jasmine,” he said, and grinned. *Should be:* "Hey Jasmine," he said, grinning. Yeah this was ultimately confusing.... the rest, after Gavin smirking, seemed like a bit of a summary.... ...

I think if a dictionary were thrown in a blender with a pint of blood and vomit, ingested by a homeless man with a severe case of gingivitis and then ...

This was sad. This made me sad. It was good... but sad. Why am I so sad now? The last line really depressed me... well, to the extent of a ...

This killed me inside. I mean, come on, you should probably know not all comedians talk like there's a lawn mower going up their back.... And honestly, the part before ...

This has to be one of the most exciting stories I've ever read in my life! Let me fix the grammar however One time my neighbor (Will) came over and ...

You should really space out the paragraphs... After the first sentence, you need a comma after realistic and the ". Mr should have a . after it. Mr. But this ...

"when I played The mommy and you played The daddy" It seems to me The shouldn't be capitalized but Mommy and Daddy should, but I'm not sure on this... or ...

"In only five short words Bare, ordinary," Wow.... bare and ordinary are bare and ordinary :P Wow... how... wow... this reminds me of a poem I wrote, thought mine was ...