Dreami

Okay, your story is very interesting, I like it. But the context doesn't give the reader a clear reason of why this girl ran away. I believe, from what I ...

Thats really a cool poem, there was just one thing I noticed. In some parts, you talked right to the black sleeves lady, but in others you just talk about ...

Its a beautiful poem. I can somehow interpret what this signifies, but its hard to explain. You have great talent though, dyingmoon, I love it. Don't doubt your talents, and ...

You seem to write about love and crushes alot. Which is okay. You have a certain style with them that is really good, I barely ever see any mistakes with ...

Very nice! I saw no major problems, but one minor one. And also, I just want to say how nice it is that you dedicated the story to another forum ...

Its a cool quote, I have heard it all over *coughtthatgamecoughHorselandcough* Uh-oh, I better go to the doctor with everyone else. :wink: We all have coughingtohidewords-itis! But anyways, if you ...

Kinky Monkey, its way too short. No offense, but it reminds me of a short poem on a valentine card. You can do better than that.:wink: Ellaborate on the idea. ...

Cool poem! Its really well written, good descriptions. Its a solid piece of work. The only thing that could be better is the rhyming. Like, In the first stanza, you ...

emotion_less, that's really pretty! The only thing that I kind of dislike is the spacing of the poem. To me, it seems almost too spaced-out now. This is the way ...

Well Stereophonic, your poem wasn't too bad for your first time, although I think it needs a few tweaks to make it even better. :wink: I like the idea of ...

That was a very good story, I really enjoy your work. I didn't find much that seemed wrong with it. Sorry, I usually don't edit stories, but I liked it. ...

You have good writing skills, Liz, but you are getting so caught up with changing your writing style into all fancy descriptions, you are forgetting to actually explain the situation, ...

I think you could put lines together, like this: I never knew when I had you close How lucky I really was But now as I sit with tears trapped ...

its a nice poem, but I think it would be better if you didn't have it just detracts from the meaning of the poem.And the problem is the poem is ...

different...but still very nice. The only error I found was here: For the life of him, Lord Winneburg could not understand why his son and others spoke to him so ...