Published March 16, 2005
Should i laugh becoz we're friends
or cry becoz thats all we'll ever be
i know its not a poem but anyway
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139,531 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
Hey again.
I saw that you wrote quite a few poems in a short amount of time and didn't get too many reviews, so I think I'll just pick through your portfolio some more. Out of the pieces that I've seen so far it seems like you might be a big fan of writing short humor poems, which is one of my favorite things. Especially considering that's the opposite of what I normally review because drudging romance is the standard for teen poetry.
This is of course humor poetry for a couple of reasons, if the emoji wasn't making it obvious enough to the audience. It seems like the previous reviewer might not have totally realized that because they gave you some super serious feedback on the word choice. I don't really want to deal much with critiquing the word choice in this case, outside of some mild commentary on how its shaping the rest of what's going on here.
This isn't the best executed piece of trolling humor poetry on yws but it is pretty good. You get the message across to the people who are looking for it and then get the serious feedback on the joke, for the people who aren't necessarily getting it. Still, it could have better by having an extension on the joke. While it is true that you need to keep this sort of thing short, it stll needs a bit more padding to give it that full tone.
Nice try.
happy revmo.
- lizz
I really like this, and like Dreami said you just say 'Because' insted of 'becoz' it sounds more qoute-ish
Its a cool quote, I have heard it all over *coughtthatgamecoughHorselandcough* Uh-oh, I better go to the doctor with everyone else.
We all have coughingtohidewords-itis!
But anyways, if you post it on the site, instead of having it on here, you might just want to put it on another post at the bottom, or have it in your signature.
Also, if you want to post a quote, you should spell correctly, spell out "because" instead of "becoz" Its a lot more readable, and makes you look more mature.
-Dreami
Wow, I didn't know a person could type that much about a two lined quote someone posted without getting too off the topic.