Demeter

Please don't bump old threads. *locked*

Please don't bump old threads. *locked*

Please don't bump old threads. *locked*

Haha, it was nice to actually read it, too! Hahaha. Fine print voice.

Mwahaha!

Voted for Charlotte. :)

Firestarter, I noticed only after I'd posted my review that you had edited it. So my review is for the unedited version – I'm sorry I wasn't faster ;)

Go check your guestbook ;) I came back to give you a gold star, because I forgot to do it yesterday. *clicks*

Here I am again! My mom made me hoover the whole house :shock: Well, almost. “Ally comma what happened? Is he ok?” Gary asked with anticipation. “Gary comma he woke ...

Okay :) Nice to know, I'm not really any expert of old ways of writing... I'm so glad I could be of help! :D xxx

Well, hello again! *pokes around to see the new edited version* Hey, this was much better! Nice job! A few nit-picks, though: To busy It should be "too", with two ...

Ah yes, that's what I meant. Also, I'm not sure whether "outdo" and "adieu" rhyme. I don't know, maybe I just pronounce them in a different way from yours. :) ...

I think this is good the way it is now. People just like different things. But, of course, try to make a story if you like!

This is very pleasant to read, with pleasant I mean its smoothness and the flashback bits in the middle. When you only fix those punctuation mistakes, there'll be very little ...

Okay, I've reviewed all three chapters by now, and I'd just like to say that there's no need to post them in this form as well. So stick on posting ...