Deanz

I agree with dragonfphenix... this poem was very confusing indeed.. It felt like you concentrated on many topics at once and sort of lumped them all together and added some ...

Oh wow :/so embarrassing ... thanks for the advice though .

...thank you .

This poem seems as though it should be a rap . In my opinion, this would be a better song than a poem . I did enjoy it very much ...

This poem seems as though it should be a rap . In my opinion, this would be a better song than a poem . I did enjoy it very much ...

Thank you much for the advice and feedback :)

Your ending needs its own theme song . pretty good great statement leaving people speechless I enjoyed this

My spelling is so bad in this poem . "fare" is meant to be "Fair" "Technicoloured" is meant to be "technicolored"

give me a break... I just joined YWS yesterday .

Excuse the repeated comments!

This poem has a song-like take on it . The imagery of summer and her beauty that you have written simplistically places me in a joyful scene . I enjoyed ...

Why haven't you recorded this? It gave me goosebumps just merely reading it .. Imagine what it can do to people by adding music to it :)

Your imagery is thrilling . The events became my reality through the duration of my reading . Stunning writing . Keep at it :)

This is so beautiful