Critical_Point

Zanna, I have to say that I really like your story. It has a lot of potential, I really think that you can go somewhere with this. The characters are ...

Nice. I must say that I've always pictured Death as a woman, but I can see how that could work. If you're going to show Death that way it makes ...

Hey TheWriters! The story is still really good but some things could be better. Nit Picks "This is it. We're leaving Renasin." Arthur sighed. Arya turned and kept walking. Arthur ...

Hey Irish. I loved the story. It has got a great and very unique plot line. The setting was well described which is something most people can be a little ...

Hey The Writers! I just wanted to say that I really like your story. Still there are a few things that I think could be clarified. The war. The King ...

Hey there ScarletteRose! I've got a couple things that need clarifying. I'll leave the shredding to someone else. -Firstly what about this stalker. Is he important or not? One minute ...

Hey, I just Wanted to say that this is a very good beginning and that you should definitly contiue. Still, there is room for improvement. - For starters you should ...

TeamJake1326, I like the prologue. It's short yet attention grabbing. Still I do have a few problems with it. “I’m gonna kill him,” Who exactly is he? Should we know ...

Zanna, Your story is very captivating and well written. I like the caracters but I think that you should give more details on how they are feeling. Also You should ...

Your story is very good so far although there are a few things that I don't understand. For example when she killed her family did she really think that they ...

I have to say that I really like your story. You have a good beginning here and I will definitely continue reading. You do need to clarify Lily's death though. ...

I think that this is getting repetitive. I agree with the others about the grammer and title, those definitively need some touch ups. I love your caracter! It shows that ...

I think that your writing is very good. I agree with Seraph though that it needs more details. What did the caracters look like? What was the setting like? How ...