Confused.pirate

This is interesting, and I think you're on the brink of something really meaningful. Try and explore the concepts you mention, such as the smile you got in the hallway. ...

Hello! I'm Sara and I will be reviewing your story today :) First, with the grammar/structure etc: All of Joy’s clothes were soaked and she could feel some of them ...

I really really like this, actually sounds like a poem I would have to analyze in my AP history class :) Very good job with the flow and diction, and ...

This is interesting and extremely philosophical. I like the different topics you covered throughout, even if the excerpt was kind of short. (Which is fine!) There's a few awkward sentences ...

I really enjoyed this piece :) The beginning really captivated my attention, asking myself questions on why he was in the situation he was. Finding the house really exposed the ...

Wow I really really enjoyed this piece! Especially how you started with complex stanzas and continued to end with one word phrases. I'm not expert on poetry but I can ...

So you wrote that this is part of your novel, correct? So is there previous posts on this particular subject? It would help the understanding of this short excerpt :) ...

This was a beautifully written prologue. Fantastic imagery and description. There are only a few points I would like to bring to your attention.. Instead of aiding me through the ...

This was a very enjoyable piece. You could feel the emotional connection between you and your writing. I don't have too much to critique on beings that the previous critic ...

I really like how different this is. I've never really read anything like it. I don't think i would call this her "will" though, because it doesn't really tell them ...

I really like your few opening paragraphs :) Gives an easy understanding to the relationship between the couple. We stood on carpet colored a puke shade and the walls stood ...

This is all around a cute and enjoyable story :) I love how it's short and sweet. Only a few tiny little mistakes: My mind jerked back to the ti ...

This part has shown your improvement immensely since your last few chapters! I clutched onto my stomach as lay on my bed. The obnoxious butterflies [s]in my stomach[/s] wouldn't let ...

I'll be short here, because I honestly couldn't find much to critique on. I really like the story, it's pretty unique in a way. I really enjoyed the flashbacks. It ...

I enjoyed this part :) I'm going to be pretty general with my corrections this time and leave the grammar corrections to someone else, because most of my critique is ...