ChimeraMania

Well the single quotation marks are what Talia's thinking/saying to Dye, which is just her thinking it'.

Ah thank you I will change those before I fall on deaf ears and blind eyes. (I mean sleep by the way)

I know you can't tell me and I don't want you to because I don't want any spoilers, but to me, it seems like the Commander is....waiting. I don't mean ...

Now that you described the meaning off the kisses. I feel like the Commander knew the meaning and he wanted to see which one Jin would have chosen. I feel ...

Wait a minute. I got to the beginning of this and then I thought of what Sara said. The title is Imaginary Friend s . So does that mean Doc, ...

HAHA, I...laughed...at...this...part. ‘I don’t have any more ideas at present, but we have to try’, Mercy said afterwards.

Ah, I wanted to scream "WHAT IS THE SECRET?" But meh, I got it. But now I'm screaming a new tone. "WHEN WILL SHE GET OUT??"

I know, but I didn't want to like her at first. :P

UGH, you made me like her.

Who else could it be? His deliberate, muffled footfalls counted down ever so slowly as he proceeded. Separate this from the paragraph chicka. Don't for get to start Mercy's words ...

The last tears, I told myself, he’d ever see me cry. he'd never see me cry. Well that was really the only line I notice mistakes in and I not ...

OMGOSH I LOVED IT. I didn't catch any mistakes. This seems just perfect. No it doesn't seem perfect, it is perfect, completely perfect. Gosh, I don't have any other words. ...

The Prologue is up to you, but yeah the flashback needs some work, but hey that's why you have me and @ArtStyx as your DS Crig-cycle

Ah I figured it out, you need a Prologue. Yepp that's definitely what you need.

Ah okay, got ya. Thanks for the clear up on that part.