Chevy

Thank you to everyone for your remarks on this piece. I must admit, it was rather loosely written in a coffee shop. I saw an older gentleman at the counter ...

Thanks for the review. I actually made an epic mistake and did not upload the latest draft. I changed the suffixes and added a few more details. It's actually a ...

Darko: Thank you for the critique. This poem is meant to be a sketch-version of a narrative of some sort... It's meant to be an account of a man who ...

Hey guys, thanks for the reviews. Perhaps I should have named this "wine skins" for it's about the place in between the grape vineyard and the wine itself, and the ...

Gahks: Thanks. I took your was/were advice. In all honesty, I wrote this poem in the submit box, and didn't revise it at all! The lack of punctuation was definitely ...

I definitely saw where you were going with the emotion, but like someone else said, it could be a little stronger. The line, "my only anchor to this earth," really ...

I like the unsureness of this, a sense of absence, I guess. "Because what I wanted was a revolution," my favorite line because it's not exactly a beginning.

Thank you Sam. I haven't been writing, I was worried about it at first but I'm glad that you picked up on the tone I was using. I took your ...

Oh this can be taken in so many ways.

Thanks guys. Oregon Girl: I wrote this on a whim and seriously did not even think about punctuation, or even to some extent, structure. However, I will probably work on ...

It had a very good flow to it, I couldn't tell where it was going and I liked that.

The repetitiveness kind of took away from the poem and I would also suggest altering the last line. Other than that, there's a good theme here and some potential from ...

Chevy, I disagree with you on the first lines too, it wasn't forced rhyming, it was using assonance to create a warm languid atmosphere. I didn't say it was forced ...

Hey, thanks everyone...especially Fabien. I'm glad you appreciated the imagery, that's really the only point I was trying to make. I apologize for the awful structure and such, but I ...

Fabien: Thank you very much Rieda: Yeah, I had a little difficulty writing the last stanza which I am still in the process of working on (thank you for bringing ...