User avatar

Chaser

I'm that one guy who always cackles maniacally at the wrong things.

  • Short Story » Romantic, Romantic Re: Melting into each other...

    What a love story! But I think the title could do a little better. After all, it's just the lovers' names, trailing off into the story. It could be a ...

    Jul 16, 2018
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Realistic Re: In love and War-Pokemon Fanfiction-Chapter 1

    I see you're channeling Erin Hunter's Warriors series! Well, let me step in. Comma Placement: Where commas are needed by convention is after your dialogue tags, if the sentence continues. ...

    Jul 16, 2018
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Advanced: Chapter One-My Life--A Cautionary Tale

    Hey. I thought I'd swing by for Review Day. Better late than never to fulfill that promise, right? I love Fen's character, and how likable he is as a shapeshifting ...

    Aug 28, 2016
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Supernatural Re: My Life in a Bizarre Town: Chapter 6

    Have a review! So, first of all, plot. Main character has a mystical martial-arts-hack power. Cool. I'm not sure why you felt the need to have a disposable gonk pervert, ...

    Feb 28, 2016
  • Novel / Chapter » Supernatural, Fantasy Re: The love of a vampire chapter 1

    Hello, I'm Chaser. You've certainly got a nice piece here. Allow me to review. It was kind of questionable to start the story like that. The main problem lies in ...

    Jan 31, 2016
  • Short Story » Horror, Health Re: The Asylum of the Mind

    Chaser, at your service! To begin, plot: excellent. You've really got a gift for internal conflict. The slow deterioration of the setting helps with that as well, complementing the theme ...

    Dec 13, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Teen Fiction Re: The Return of Magic: Part One Chapter Seven: Kalihr

    Apologies and happy Review Day! Beginning with plot, this story seems to flow pretty well. While Kalihr's message is a little predictable (I mean, he's the enemy, and Avalon recognizes ...

    Nov 29, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Last Stand Chapter 6: Two Outcasts Part 2(Reframed)

    Time for a review if you don't mind. To begin, the plot here is flowing smoothly. While I do think that the romance here might be a bit too obvious ...

    Nov 20, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Chapter 1: An Ordinary Day

    Like a flash of lightning, I review! Starting with the plot, I enjoyed the way you balanced together Raj's everyday routines with the supernatural element of Arathus. The "voice in ...

    Nov 15, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Dramatic Re: Retribution

    Well, I encouraged it, so I'll review it. First off: plot. Well, you've certainly set the tone for this piece. While it's difficult to spot Jack's character flaws right now, ...

    Nov 10, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Science Fiction Re: Hidden Spires: Prologue. (Fixed)

    Not posting the rest? That's a shame. To begin, you've got a fine lead on the plot. We're already getting a feel for the larger forces at play, without any ...

    Nov 9, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, General Re: Saving Kelsea Ch. V

    Okay, let's start! Plot: The bar was a nice choice of setting, and the underlying techniques you use are impressive as well. While I'm pondering over the mystery of Warren's ...

    Oct 26, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Fanfiction Re: The Quest for Fire Book One ~ Into the Mists Chapter 2

    Hello there! I'm a reviewer. Plot: So, it's not the best I've seen. Old man sacrifices himself, ancient monster, dangerous allies; I've seen it before. The story is carried more ...

    Oct 26, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Spiritual Re: Mother and Father Part Seven (Jigoku Shoujo The Saved and the Damned)

    So, this is how it all ends. All in all, a solid read. Obviously, the most dynamic feature of this segment is plot. You could see it coming, but you ...

    Oct 25, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Spiritual Re: Mother and Father Part Six (Jigoku Shoujo The Saved and the Damned)

    Oh my. Well, the plot's a big part of this. Spiritual writing is a touchy subject, but I'll try my best as a fellow Christian to handle it respectfully. First ...

    Oct 25, 2015


I'll admit the two turtle doves are growing on me, but there are ten birds in this house already and we both know geese are feathered bioweapons of mass destruction.
— Silvern