Cade

The thing that bothered me right away about this piece was the capitalization at the beginning of each line. It doesn't make sense, especially for phrases that go from one ...

I really liked the first line, but my interest in this piece kind of went down from there. Perhaps it was the awkward structure - I didn't agree with the ...

I didn't completely understand this poem, but this is what I have to offer: A K of bushland Blackened by fire New growth bloom where the old growth fall Put ...

Victor stops: His sight raises and He spots Me observing Him: Father and son. ...This land - barren From animal and plant, unwanted By all but humanity - by all ...

I agree with jearjioe. It needs more - each verse is so short. I got to the end and I was going, "What a rip off!" I've read stuff like ...

...the light inside sliding back and forth like a discotheque. I looked up discotheque. So it's a fancy word for a disco nightclub? I would think that the light would ...

This poem is really nothing new. It sounds like a country song. However, if you do wish to take the time to improve it, it needs a lot more puncutation, ...

Let's go through this stanza by stanza, or verse by verse, rather. As the day starts getting shorter... I slip into my empty eyes. The shadows cast down... The moon ...

The battle of wills between pen, mind, and soul Abandon yourself, for there are no rules or judgment Raw emotion has no bounds The gift to ponder on. This is ...

This piece has some minor technical issues...you have plenty of places where commas are needed, and a couple fragments. The main problem I see here...adjectives. They are the enemy, and ...

The last four lines are...lyrical, I guess, with the repetition of "no time" and the stolen/broken slant rhyme. the dramatic dirt demanding him This is overdone. It's lovely alliteration but ...

I saw the format of this poem before I read it and I assumed that it was going to rhyme. I became confused when it didn't. Don't make it rhyme, ...

Fantastic piece! I'd like it even more without the "ands" in the second stanza..."the dirt under your fingernails/the way you eat pizza with a knife and fork" You have punctuation ...