Published December 13, 2006
Poetry
The line, the verse, the thought that defines us.
The battle of wills between pen, mind, and soul
Abandon yourself, for there are no rules or judgment
Raw emotion has no bounds
The gift to ponder on.
The voice of wisdom we don’t quite understand.
How we express the most vulnerable part of our soul.
Thought before it is cleaned.
Diamond before it is cut.
The moment, the feeling, the urge for us to act.
Wait and listen, for the poem only needs your open mind,
And it will speak.
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141,255 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
I liked the poem, yes it's over used, unoriginal, but it would have been original at one time
keep writing and =) happy reading (=
This is an example of the major problem I had with your poem. Is that whole bit one line? Capitalizing the first letter of every line doesn't go well with little and random punctuation. As one senior on my school litmag would say, "It's not an acrostic poem. Don't capitalize the first letter of each line." He's right. And why did you double-space it? It makes the poem choppier than it already was.
Incandescence is right...this idea is overdone (well, Billy Collins writes poems about poetry, and he's amazing). This poem needs something to make it unique or memorable.
Happy Chanukah from your friendly neighborhood ex=Christian atheist,
Colleen
viggo--
It's been done too many times to be effective any longer.
Take "thought before it is cleaned" and find something other than the rest of this to surround it.
There's nothing salvageable here other than that.
Take care,
Brad