Cade

THE ALL CAPS TITLE IS REALLY ANNOYING. I DON'T LIKE TO FEEL LIKE I'M BEING YELLED AT. I think it's just a weensy bit emo/cliche (as the two go hand-in-hand). ...

I do like it, especially the end--I think you pulled that off well. My one complaint is that I've seen musical performance expressed this way before, and I'm getting a ...

I noticed that you've posted A LOT of stuff lately. Please don't do this--you must not have seen the rules. Try not to post more than one new thing in ...

*seconds everything Suzanne said* I think your main problem is that the poem is too broad and it jumps around too much. Poetry is much more appealing when it's personal ...

First of all, nix the asterisks between the stanzas. We know there's a break. You don't need to reinforce it. This is a pleasant, simple poem...you do need to work ...

Suzie is right. Using incorrect English in a poem suggests immature control of writing. For all our sakes, get your head in the dictionary and out of your chat window. ...

I see you're a new member who missed the rules, so I'll catch you up real quick. Please don't post more than one piece a day...this usually scares people away ...

Suzie, this is a totally worthless piece of crap. Have you ever even heard of good poetry? I can't believe you would post something as horrid as this, even as ...

*squirms* Aww, Suzie gave you a link to something of mine...*giggles* She does have a point--free form poetry doesn't mean "list random words with no sentence structure." It just doesn't ...

Wow, third time today that I've commented right after Suzanne. And for the third time, I totally agree with her. This poem falls flat on its face because it revolves ...

I agree with Suzie. I think your main problem is being too broad and abstract. Taking on a huge subject like the sun make you try to tackle too much ...

I agree with Suzanne--while the loose structure of the poem helps convey the rushed, "insane" feeling of the city, it is difficult to read. At least include enough punctuation to ...

This looks like a poorly punctuated ramble with line breaks to me. You can do better. Try this: 1. Read some good poetry. Go to the library, sit down, and ...

I'm actually quite disappointed--you've done better, a lot better. I agree with Suzie/others in that it's disjointed. My main problem is that I can't get a good grip on it. ...

Oh please. We've read it all before. Next time, at least try to be original, okay? I'm not even sure this is worth my large red EMO stamp. Please toss ...