Butterfly18

Ok I couldn't get past the alarm clock. It's year 4001. Would they really have alarm clocks with snooze buttons by then? I doubt it. Sorry. Couldn't read beyond that. ...

I think the language is too, smart. Like it sounds robotic at times. I did like the ending of this snippet though. Very intriguing. :)

Unfortunately I couldn't get through it all, I began to get somewhat confused. I did like the language you used though. It's descriptive and poetic but didn't go overboard and ...

I think the writing of this isn't that bad, I'm just sort of over vampires after all that Twilight. I never liked twilight and it sort of put me off ...

I'm thinking of writing a screenplay inspired by the conflict in Syria. I admire you for tackling this topic in your fiction writing. :)

This is really long and I only managed to read maybe a third, but of what I read I really enjoyed. Fantasy is my absolute passion, besides sci-fi. Fantasy is ...

This was a little unnerving but passionate in my humble opinion. I liked it. I would say I 'loved' it but then I'd have to face the fact that even ...

I loved this. It's so great, so much emotion. Love it. :) I think you're starting to make me really like poetry.

Nice. I really liked it. I'm not a huge an of poetry but I think this poem has made me want to give it more of a chance. Loved this. ...

I really liked this. I think its a nice concept to roll with for a poem. I don't much like reading poetry but i read this to the end. :) ...

Bryn, you kind of contradict yourself saying, I just feel like it's a little to hollywood to jump straight into action. Seems like you don't know what action is. I ...

Aww, well thank you for your kind words. Though you love it as it is, there's still so much work to be done. I'm going to finish the second draft ...

Wow, that's all very helpful. Thank you. :)

Oh wow, some great stuff here, phoenixwriter. Thanks a million. I'm going to copy, paste and save your critique, if you don't mind. These are the sorts of questions I ...

Thanks. Yes I should add a little more description about Lindsay. She plays an important role later in the story. As for her favoring, Anna. She favors all the new ...