Boni_Bee

gee, you sure write a lot!!! thanks for the comments, and I'll fix it up as soon as I can. where it just has 'o' it was the name of ...

Ok, heres the second chapter! :) ************************************ Chapter 2 The herd has now been travelling for two days. They are going slowly because of May and her new foal. They ...

thanks for the critique. I realise what you are saying, and some of it doesn't make sense now :oops: the computer took out a couple of words, that's why it ...

I think it was very good, although I easily anticipated what was going to happen before I read to the end. But overall, it was great! :)

Thanks so much for the critiques! I understand what you are getting at. I think I prefer past tense, but I'll fix that up and the 'ly' it was part ...

It sort of grabs you, and makes you go 'yeah, I can relate to that'! It's good how it's short, because any longer and I might have criticized it! lol

It keeps you interested. It does go rather quick, but you could add more description of where the characters are... The names are a bit similar, but they are ok.

Cool! the start had me a bit confused, but it got better and better as it went along. It sounds like it's going to be great! keep up the good ...