Boni_Bee

Ok, I know this is an old poem, but I found it in your portfolio...so... I really like it, although the second line is too much like the first line, ...

It's pretty cool :) the first paragraph seems too...repetetive, no, that's not the right word...anyway, I'm looking forward to the next bit. I like the last paragraph :)

oooo, dramatic! :? :) It only had my full attention in some parts, but I like the cold, malicious way he does everything. Next bit please! Lol :)

It's a nice and simple poem. It didn'g grab me much either, but it was still nice. A bit plain, maybe, and although you tried to express yourself, it didn't ...

Renee: The bus pulled to a stop as Budd said, “okay everybody out." We all exchanged glances of confusion, but none of us daring to move. Slowly, the five of ...

Yeah, I think it was just the right length, any longer and....:roll: I think it was very nice, and the ryming wasn't forced. Great job :)

It's a very nice story, although, as everyone else has said, the word grey was used just a bit too much. It needs a bit more on the end, and ...