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Re: A Rich and Ugly World
Hey there! Right, I have to say I'm a bit divided in this poem. Sometimes I think it's poor, but othertimes, and for the majority, I really quite like it. ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: A tribute to my dad on father’s day.
Hey fiction, You know what? This is one of the hardest pieces to critique ever. The content is personal and you portray your emotions consistently and confidently throughout. Despite the ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: With Eyes Alone
Hey there! Like Snoink said, the structure is a bit poor to follow, but I think if you added some punctuation it'd be easier to read because we'd have you ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: Forgive and Forget
Hey Hey! I adored this piece, the message is clear and explicit, it's also very true! In the first stanza, there's a bit here and there where I feel your ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: Try being me
Hey there! Well, I actually adored this (looking at your revised piece). It has that feel of something I haven't particularly read before and the emotions in it are clear, ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: Hope
Hey there! I think the best part of this poem of yours is definately down to the lovely control of punctuation and choice of language. The punctuation makes it flow ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: Who I am
Hey there! I really liked the mystery of this poem, how things are implied and the way your perfections are brought across yet they're always tamed down by the perceived ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: I want the Chaos
Hey there! Firstly, unlike the other reviewers have said, I like the idea of rain as an imagery. I think it's excellent. Although there's a lot of rain themed poems ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: How a mother loves.
Hey there! I love the way you tell this piece, the narration voice is formal yet personal, which is very good in terms of Non-Fiction as it'll allow your audience ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: Rain
Hey there! Welcome! The most prominent weakness for this poem, I think, is that it isn't getting the potential fluency and rhythm that I think it could achieve. There are ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: Chess
Hey there! The most prominent vibe I get from this poem of yours is from the first stanza. Her hand cups reverent the ivory piece Its shadow large above the ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: Rhyme Scheme
Hey there Story! I love the beauty of this poem, mainly due to it’s undeniable simplicity. It feels so original. The best bit is the “ABAB, CDCD” as it sets ...
Jun 27, 2010 -
Re: Because I'm Drawn (RE-EDITED)
Hey there! I have to say, the start of this sounded quite lyrical, which is good! It shows that your words (and structure) have a natural pace! The fact that ...
Jun 26, 2010 -
Re: Depressing Rain!!!
Hello Captain ;) The most prominent things that I think are off-putting about your poem before I've even read it is the random structure and the clear use of repetition. ...
Jun 26, 2010 -
Re: Daddy, Do You Know Me?
Hey there Auteur! I think your poem has some kind of individuality and it's definitely got a clear little message in it. The effect is there, but it's not quite ...
Jun 21, 2010
