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Re: My thoughts of him...
I wanted to start off by saying that I like this piece, and I think it has a lot of potential. But I can't find the emotion in it. To ...
Jun 18, 2011 -
Re:
I'm impressed! Judging from personal experience, I feel like you've done a wonderful job capturing the (sadly disillusioned) mind of an abuser. My eyes gaze down at your body. Broken, ...
Jun 18, 2011 -
Re: Take away the pain
Hi there! I'm Bella and I'm here to review your poem! =) I'm going to make a few suggestions and comments, and then apply them to the poem (at least, ...
Jun 18, 2011 -
Re: Truly Greatful
Hello there! I'm Bella, and I'm here to review your poem! I hope that's okay =) I'd like to start with the title - it should be grateful . Now, ...
Jun 18, 2011 -
Re: Dear Mr. Rapist
I read through this piece a few times before deciding that I really just don't feel it. I don't feel the emotion in it. It's like...the victim of a rape ...
Jun 18, 2011 -
Re: We All knew It Would Happen In The End
Two can play at this game. Or at least one can win. If two are playing, only one can actually win? At least, that's what I think. Maybe change this ...
May 20, 2011 -
Re: But a faithful friend
I'm going to start with some suggestions and "nitpicks", as lily called them. The blade. I wouldn't capitalize blade - it doesn't symbolize anything, it really is just a blade. ...
May 20, 2011 -
Re: A Walk Into Death
Close your eyes, still your breath, The night's swift call beseeches you. A rhythmic dream draws you to death, As time’s embrace holds strong and true. I walk with you ...
May 20, 2011 -
Re: Remember the time?
It made me want to cry... But that's a good thing, really. You did a good job of putting a conversational tone into it, while still putting all the emotion ...
Sep 12, 2008 -
Re: Wuthering Heights
Dood, how did I only just now find this? O.o Anyway, Wuthering Heights is pretty much one of my all time favorite books ever. One of the few that dad ...
Aug 29, 2008 -
Re: Thought Scramble
Hm... I really like this. Although the ending, just the very last line, didn't fit right in my opinion. Maybe something like: "I wish you could be that someone." I ...
Aug 19, 2008 -
Re: Breaking Dawn
Woot! Breaking Dawn! I loved it, but it made me sad. It was sad to see Edward and Bella go. Kind of like when I finished Harry Potter - I ...
Aug 4, 2008 -
Re: Your Brain
First off, welcome to YWS! If you have any questions about anything, feel free to PM me, and I'll do whatever I can to help you. Now, on to the ...
Aug 2, 2008 -
Re: A Whisper in the Wind (2 of 4)
My dear Ashleylee - this was AMAZING! No joke, you had me near tears. I was very very upset. (and I'm completely heartless, so it's pretty hard to get me ...
Aug 1, 2008 -
Re: A Whisper in the Wind (1 of 4)
Wow, I loved this! I had a pretty hard time just reading it and giving a good crit though, because a lot of things I noticed were more nitpicky things. ...
Aug 1, 2008
