Azila

I liked this, Paw! It is very intriguing! All the mistakes that I saw have been pointed out already (woe is me!) except for one: you need to space out ...

I really liked this. There were quite a few grammatical mistakes, but the plot was almost masterful. I will definitely not forget it in a pinch. I love stories that ...

There's something odd with the formating. If you change it, please tell me and I'll be glad to read it. But as it is, I found it headaching to look ...

Firstly, I don't think this is poetry. It is poetic, perhaps, but not poetry. Try to get a mod to move it to Other Fiction for you :wink: It is ...

Nice idea here! Really, a truly intriguing concept. :D I have a few suggestions: Add description What it this lobby like? Is it fancy, with a crystal chandelier or dumpy ...

That was cool! I like stories where dreams and reality coexist in a kind of creepy way! However, there are a lot of grammalical errors and typos that make me ...

Very nice piece here! Truly, it has a lot of potential. I think the main downfall of it is that you use the same words to describe things over and ...

Hi LP! I was flipping through your portfolio and found this. I really hope you don't mind me digging up something so old! I REALLY liked this piece. I must ...

Hi! I've come to collect that cherry on top!! lol. Yeah, as St Razor said, you really should critique other people before posting your work. But I'll critique you anyway ...

Hi! I liked this. I loved the way you had the three words all alone in their own paragraphs and italicized... very cool. :wink: It is a bit cliche, as ...

Hi! I hope I'm not to late and you had to send it in already!!! Okay, that said let's get on with it. You said I could tear it apart, ...

Oh, that must have been scary. Once I put a piece of corn in my nostril and we had to go to the emergency room cause every time I inhaled ...

Very, very refreshing, original and I can totally relate. Great job! I don't have the energy right now to do a full line-by line critique, but I have one big ...

Haha! That's such a cool story... even more so because it's true! One suggestion I have is that you space out your paragraphs more, meaning rather than having this: Towards ...

I really enjoyed this and it really kept me reading. The plot is (so far anyway) very intriguing and original. One negative thing is that you seem to skip from ...