Azila

I don't like Deuce as much as Tala, Wenonah or Talulah... but you're the author of course... and I know how it feels to be attached to a name. Maybe ...

I really liked this. Honest. I actually thought that the italics added to it. I just suggest you make this part one line: but not the same; The other place ...

please tell me its not too horrible! You have to be kidding. This was awesome! (as usual) About the nothing happening: I think that's good. The whole story can't be ...

I'll make some changes...maybe I'll submit a revised-revised edition? :P Actually, I think that you should just edit this and put something like 'latest version' in the subtitle. Anyway, I'm ...

Haha! I like that response. This seems kind of like a joke or something, not a real piece of fiction--even flash fiction. You need to elaborate more... it just seemd ...

This was pretty good! I found it a little rambly, making me want to skim and a little telly rather than showy... but you just want grammar corrections, so that's ...

Wow. I'm not an expert on poetry, but even I can tell that this is a true gem. I wish I could see your sketch, but even without seeing it ...

Wow. This is truly a masterpiece. A heartfelt monologue ringing with truth, and sorrow, and hope. I really congratulate you for being able to put your painful past into words--and ...

I didn't read it. :oops: You really should break this up. Especially when you post something longer, if it's just a block of text then not even these lovely people ...

This is pretty good! As others have said, it's easy to read and flows very nicely. I think there could be a tad more description--of the boy, the bus, maybe ...

Very good, Cat! It looked long when I scrolled through it before reading it, but when I actually read it it seemed way too short! I wanted MORE!! I think ...

Overall: I really enjoyed reading this and I think it has a lot of potential. However, it seems like it was written by a completely different person than the person ...

I have to admit... I didn't read this. :oops: It's just too long. Try posting one chapter at a time, then you will get more views and crits. Also, space ...

I really liked this. I liked the way you used the second line of the previous stanza to start the next one. A very interesting method that has a lot ...

I'm not a master in the area of Poetry either, but I think I can recognize talent when I see it. I love the way most of the stanzas flow ...