Azila

I agree with the others; this is a little confusing and unclear. There are also a few grammatical and rhythmical problems that I have fixed (and underlined) in the version ...

I agree with Cassandra: this really doesn't fit in this forum. You should PM a mod to have it moved to Non-Fiction, Other, the Debate Group... or something. Just don't ...

Umm... okay, then. :lol: This is really funny, but do you really want brutal reviews on it? Do you really want us to tear apart each and every word choice? ...

This is pretty good! the emotion was very well done and for the most part, there aren't that many errors. One main thing: All dialogue needs to be punctuated. For ...

This was interesting. Like Suzanne said, you should add some more description because I don't really have any mental picture of the scene. What do the characters look like? What ...

I have to admit, I didn't read this. :oops: That's because it's all one big block of text. You need to break it up! For example... NO: Personal expression, to ...

This has a simplistic, childish, fairy-tale type feel, but I think that's what you're going for, so I won't pester you about it. ^_^ She wasn't a very smart chicken. ...

I agree with Wolf and Saint Razorblade--there really isn't any character development. Why don't the "catty" girls let her into their circle? Just because she's not popular? Or is there ...

This made me laugh. Though some might say that the opening paragraph is too silly/boring/repetitive/whatever, I liked it. Great opening. :wink: There really isn't enough to critique, but I will ...

This was really good! The emotion is masterful... I especially liked the part about the warriors of sadness. ^_^ Nor are there really any major mistakes. Repetition is much better ...

This is really good! The descriptions are quite vivid and the writing is effectively emotional without overdoing it. Congratulations! Just a few little suggestions... A pounding, like the impossible b

Though there are a lot of little things that could be addressed via nitpicks, I understand that that's not what you're looking for--so I won't give it to you. Overall ...

Vivi, dear, try not to defend yourself from reviewers. If you don't want harsh reviews, you shouldn't post unfinished, unpolished works. Some people like saying only the negatives, it's a ...

I really liked this! I want to read more. The thing that I think will be tough for you about using the journal format is: no matter how good a ...

Firstly, I agree with everyone else who has reviewed. I might restate things, but I'm just telling you my opinion. Overall, I think I like it. It's a little random ...