AyumiGosu17

Very interesting, Timeam but I must say, you jump around a lot. I was confused about the events, places, and people most of the time. Try to neaten that up ...

I'm not that into spacecraft and Star Wars, but it did catch my attention. Wonderful writing!

Uh...wait I remember now. It's that dude from before, who slapped Tea. Yeah... Very nice. Keep it up.

:/ Well, the street talk was a bit harder to understand, but it fits. And you described Quinn so that he's much more realistic, and it gradually introduces you to ...

Obviously the italics don't work...it's got to be my computer! It works whenever I post at school or elsewhere! Ugh!

LMAO!!! That last scene was funny! LOL! Once again, you need more commas and semicolons. Wonderful, Vernon! Absolutely wonderful!

I must take note of your comma errors. There are several places where you need commas or semicolons, definately. Aside from that, it's very nicely written. It's adding a nice ...

Hahaha! Surprises, surprises! Interesting, how you're revealing Quinn's past! And he -- or should I say SHE -- is hilarious when she's drunk! lol

Okay...I agree with La Vampiress. I didn't expect ANY of this from you! Ohh...I felt awkward reading this...*shudder* I know now why you hated writing this chapter...

Loved the flashback! And you're hinting at Quinn's past, which adds another nice touch. Keep up the good work!

I feel like crying...that was sad! *sniffle*

Aside from a few minor errors, like missing words and commas, it's very nice! Bravo!

A bit graphic for me, but it was really good.

Very nicely written! I can't wait to read the rest! Other than a few minor mistakes, I saw nothing wrong with it. You're an excellent writer! AG

Yeah, peoples who post in the future: I'll admit, I hadn't seen the Uchiha brothers episodes the introduce Itachi when I wrote this. I just made the conclusion he may ...