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Re: chewing
You're baaaaaack! :O *fan squeals* I'm with @Booshian on this one, when I read it, I got more of a sense of sadness/depression configured as a monster/life-form that is growing ...
Jul 16, 2014 -
Re: Enviro-lent
Hey LanguidLiger, So automatically, the spelling in this poem isn't so good xD Come now! Browsers come installed with automatic spell-checkers, no? Also, lots of comma splices. Try these resources! ...
Jul 16, 2014 -
Re: January
Hey Booshian! I'm actually not a fan of the rhyme scheme. My biggest thing is always: if it sounds odd/awkward or unnatural, than I'd rather not rhyme, y'know? "My shoulders ...
Jul 15, 2014 -
Re: Will you hold my hand?
Hey Chancesnchanges, One thing I love about this is how genuine it feels, like it speaks of real issues and problems that a lot of young people face and I ...
Jul 15, 2014 -
Re: Nighttime and Morning
Hey Writer13! You should let your sister join up here ;) We'd love to have her. So really quickly, I'm just going to dive right in. For Nighttime , I ...
Jul 15, 2014 -
Re: Mångata
Hey ccw! Thank you for your comments on my piece, I found them encouraging! I also wanted to welcome you to YWS, seriously, I hope you enjoy your time here ...
Jul 11, 2014 -
Re: A Poem Created During My Morning Run
These are style suggestions, and mostly subjective, I think! So take whatever I say with a grain of salt? Title: A Poem Created During My Morning Run I'm a fan ...
Jul 7, 2014 -
Re: sometimes a river. sometimes an ocean.
Ahhhhh, Beaautiful!
Jun 6, 2014 -
Re: After the weekend:
Tinny!
Jun 4, 2014 -
Re: Theirs
Hey Aley! So pantoums don't have to rhyme, no? The cliff/stiff line KILLED me
May 31, 2014 -
Re: Horror Stories
Hiya Fort! The idea of horror stories is very simple and straightforward -- it is fear and it is disgust, and the fear and disgust one feels of oneself is ...
May 31, 2014 -
Re: His Tears Cost 1M$
Hey Ruroni! This is listed as fanfiction, so I know a big part of writing and reading fanfiction is knowing the source material. I do think that the poem does ...
May 31, 2014 -
Re: Ode to a Spartan Shield
Hey Zhia, I've not met you before, welcome to YWS! I'm just going to dig right into this, overall I really like the choice of title that you have here. ...
May 25, 2014 -
Re: 15 Responses to the Question "Is that your Dad's shirt?"
That ending hit me like, BAM. I had to read the whole thing over again, and was satisfied when I read it a second time and got a slightly different ...
May 24, 2014 -
Re: Viaduct.
Note: This review has been deleted
May 24, 2014
Retro! I am super excited about this piece. When we last spoke (or I guess, when I last ventured to your corner of the webs!) I asked for a bit ...