Ares

Just publish it all so I can go buy the book. It'd be a lot easier.

Changed it up a bit, wondering if anyone wanted to give me some feedback now? I kind of don't like it, but it's old so :roll: -Ares

I also love your sig. Btw. =D Thought i'd let you know.

Forcing back the group of people who all seemed to be shouting different things, Use some dialogue on the offier's part here. You could extend the piece by adding some ...

I know. I'm saying I think it would be better if you did rhyme.

I haven't read very much of them at all but I'm thinking I might. What I did read (when my friend had a copy) seemed pretty good. How many are ...

Ya. So much for disclaimers. But I noticed the verb tense too when I started reading this. I just didn't mention it in my crit cuz I didn't think it ...

Pretty good stuff. Sorry I don't have a critique. Nothing really came to mind.

No problem.

This is pretty cool. The last line of the 1st stanza's too short I think. Other than that idunno. Maybe you could make it a little longer. I like the ...

Rhyming was a little forced. It interferred with the flow a bit, but I like the idea as a whole. You should revise it. It was pretty cool.

Meanwhile, the deceased cat's mate came a-looking for his lover. Wow. I have no critique. That was pretty funny though. Keep it up. Add more In the third line of ...

Thanks.

The officer's dialogue sounds a little unrealistic, and the way he handled the situation is a little unprofessional and unrealistic. The cop wouldn't know her sentence. He also wouldn't take ...

Thanks dude. I appreciate the feedback. And Smurfette died. I probably could've been more detailed about that.