Areida

Wow. I don't think you went into overkill with adjectives at all... you've used them beautifully. It's honest, well-written, and more than just a little sad. You've written it in ...

I liked it. It wasn't profound or heart-wrenching, but it was good. Very real, very honest. A couple of things: ~Split into more paragraphs. I had a lot of trouble ...

Well, it seemed kind of random and spastic... like it didn't really have a point. But if it's just for practice then that's not really a big deal. I write ...

Dagnabbit, Jack! I came in here with the full intention of ripping apart something you've written for once in my life, but instead I fell in love with your poetry ...

I think Snoink covered all the technical stuff... LOL... But just in general (this is Areida going out on a limb, okay?) I didn't really like it. I seemed kind ...

I likey this one very muchly! Your dialogue always holds a wealth of description, which fascinates me. How the crap do you do that, girl?! Ugh. If you don't stop ...

I still really like this idea; it's very original and you handle it well. The only thing I can really suggest is to go back and make sure you have ...

Hmm... very interesting. The whole "i know a girl" seems to be kind of cliched, but you still did a good job with it (no duh). I love how you ...

Ooh, Sarah, I love this. I mean, really. Your descriptions are so beautiful, and the thought of a college girl playing imagination games with the sun is so appealing because ...

I'm still extremely depressed. I think I'm going to reread parts of it because I read it so quickly the first time. *heaves a sigh* But all my predictions came ...

LOL, don't freak out if nobody replies in one day. Usually what happens is that you'll accumulate two or three comments over a period of a couple of days. That's ...

I agree with Sureal. It was just as good as the last chapter, though slightly less ambiguous. For not having read through it again, you did an awesome job. I ...

Oh my gosh, CL, this was amazing. I mean, it was kind of confusing at points since (I'm assuming?) it's set in space, but the emotions your character feels are ...

*laughs* Sounds like our Crysi... except that you forgot to mention something about at least one hot guy, such as Brad Pitt, Hayden Christensen, Hunter, or Jack, just to name ...

Oh God, that was beautiful. Absolutely believable, heart-wrenching, and vivid. I think you pulled off the ambiguity just fine, so I wouldn't worry about that. Just little things that you ...