Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud…
I can’t believe this.
I’m standing in the shadows. I know what it would look like to you.
A stalker, since you had so many. I was one of a kind though, for I knew what got to you. What drove you insane.
What I could do to make you scream and ache all over knowing I was the one that caused it. You are with a girl, a blond of sorts. I’m so jealous of her.
Why does she get you but I don’t?
What does she have that I don’t?
What do you see in her but don’t see in me?
You two are dancing, your arms holding her tightly against you. I can imagine her, breathing in your scent of wintergreen and smoke, entwining her fingers painted red in your curly black hair as you sway back and forth to the slow beat of drums.
Above, laser lights flash across your complexion making it a pale shade of green then red then blue and back to green.
The beat suddenly changes, but you’re stuck in the same movement as before. I can’t bare to watch so I turn away, hoping that when I look back, you’ll be looking at me. Then I will see me instead of her with you.
That you’ll see that I have everything you want, maybe more. I turn back suddenly, something inside of me begging that the scene will change, but it doesn’t. I’m seeing the same scene while it flashes across my mind like movie.
Rubbing it in my nose, taunting me as if saying, “You’re not good enough for him. You’ll never be.”
That’s when the tears start. Setting my cheeks a fire because I’m so embarrassed. They're streaming down my pale cheeks, onto my lips, my chin and then falling to the floor making a sound that only I can hear.
A sound of a heart breaking.