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Ardor

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Silence

    I liked this. It was really nice. Well done. No seriously, it was good. I especially liked the one line ending. It added to the theme of silence and all. ...

    Oct 24, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Don't really have one yet...sorry :)

    Interesting. Very interesting. Original. Daring. Dark. Scary. Funny. Shizophrenic. Artful. Makes me hungry; nervous; makes me want to sing. Has a nice individuality to it. Reminds me of Greek gods. ...

    Oct 24, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Atlantis - Prologue

    Ooh! This is very fancy. Looks very professionally put together, I liked the introduction, and your language is great. A lot of my stuff is completely the opposite; looks like ...

    Oct 24, 2011
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: The In-Laws

    Heh. It was ok. Some funny moments, like the last line, but I found it a little hit-and-miss. The idea is a bit cliche, and I found the part when ...

    Oct 24, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: nothing

    I'm surprised no one has commented on this yet. This is great! Although I found the exclamation point after the chorus a bit cliche and corny, it has very good ...

    Oct 23, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Back to the Corner

    I liked this. Very much. Seemed like every line counted and had a really nice structure. However, my only suggestion is to perhaps revise the last two paragraphs. I didn't ...

    Oct 23, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Mother, Daughter, Husband

    This is good. I liked your structure as it was interesting. I also liked the shilly-shally thing which was original. However, I found the opening line very cliched. It is ...

    Oct 22, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Feelings of Abandonment

    Celtic, this is amazing. I loved your language, and how you created a sense of isolation throughout. And yes, your title pretty much sums the whole poem's theme up: abandonment. ...

    Oct 19, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: No name

    Um, no offence, but it is way too short. I think you've got everything right- but the length! I think you should add much more verses to carry on your ...

    Oct 19, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Lost

    the words of William Burroughs, "pay it all pay it all pay it all back". I think this is ok, but it kind of tells us about how lost this ...

    Oct 15, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Empty

    I didn't really feel that the repetition of 'I'll never die' was needed for the last line, but overall a solid poem. You have put great effort into this, if ...

    Oct 15, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The Three Vengeful Dwarves

    This was...interesting. It was like having epilepsy, and flashing lights of random would blare in your eyes randomly. I also died laughing during your story. It was not as you ...

    Oct 14, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Life is perfect

    I love this! It is great! Each line has it's own distinctive importance which I love, and your use of flow is really quite lovely so I can read the ...

    Oct 14, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Order

    Great poem! It has a nice simplicity to it I think. I also liked how you made the two stanzas link in rhyme. My only suggestion is the same thing ...

    Oct 14, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Scars: Part 8

    Oh goody! Yet another spellbinding chapter from you! I think each of your chapters focuses on a specific aspect. In this aspect, I love how you have mainly focused on ...

    Aug 20, 2011


These were autumn mornings, the time of year when kings of old went forth to conquest; and I, never stirring from my little corner in Calcutta, would let my mind wander over the whole world.
— Rabindranath Tagore, The Cabuliwallah