Order

Don't know why, but I'm in the mood for reviewing poetry at the moment.

But what I'm seeing here is not so much poetry as a crunched-down philosophy essay, or something of that nature. Really, there is nothing in the way of flow, or rhythm, or metaphor; you state things bluntly, which would work beautifully outside the realm of poetry, but trying to stuff your concept into a small space by taking out some words and inserting line breaks won't tend to appeal much to the reader. If you want to write a philosophical exposition, by all means, write one! But don't destroy its meaning by translating it into clunky poetry.

If you wish to illustrate an idea through poetry, don't simply state it. That's not what poetry is for. The goal of poetry is to shed light on concepts through means of metaphor, imagery, flow. In other words, poetry should be of a far subtler nature than, say, expository pieces.

I'm not saying that your point is flawed, or that you should simply give up in trying to communicate it. What I am saying, however, is that if you wish to pigment it through poetic means, it would be wise to take into account my above suggestions. Poetry isn't easy, but it is important to at least approach it with a poetic mindset.

-Kafka

Great poem! It has a nice simplicity to it I think. I also liked how you made the two stanzas link in rhyme. My only suggestion is the same thing as SparkOfDoubt said; perhaps you could add lines in/redraft it a little. While you focus on the words really well, I think it would be nice for you to look at the technical aspects of it.

Hi

Order comes and order goes#0000FF ">,
The beginning anew
#FF0000 ">I don't think this is the correct word. Maybe #0000FF ">The beginning of something new#FF0000 ">?
Is the end of another.
But what kind of order is it,
If it leaves?
What can we count on#0000FF ">,
#FF0000 ">I feel like there is a missing line here...
Besides that which is ordered?
#FF0000 ">Cut it into two stanzas here.

So the world must return#0000FF ">,
To what it should be#0000FF ">.
Its natural state#0000FF ">,
Of anarchy.
The world must return
To its natural state,
Where the only rule,
Is chaos.