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Re: Dancers
I think this is a great poem. I love the visual descriptions as it helps convey the passion the dancers have. The rhythm is smooth and flows so well. Wonderful ...
Jun 23, 2011 -
Re: Sly Flame (Third Play)
I really enjoyed reading this. It was well written, and the scene was described well. The ending was sweet. Overall, it was good reading a play, which didn't have any ...
May 9, 2006 -
Re: Shatter
This had powerful imagery and a range of emotions strongly conveyed through your words. Excellet poem. I also thought the repetition of 'shattering' near the end of the poem was ...
May 3, 2006 -
Re: i wonder
Not all the lines flowed well, but some did. I did not thik you had to rhyme quite as frequently as you did in this poem. My hands fell down ...
Apr 27, 2006 -
Re: Expressionless Emotions
The alliteration was wonderfully done. All your words blended well together. Healing throughout Each word a bandage To the scarred mind of the writer This metaphor was excellent and one ...
Apr 26, 2006 -
Re: With Six Legs
Firstly i have to say i was a little confused at moments. But i did understand straight away that john did not come back to life, it was just in ...
Apr 21, 2006 -
Re: Trapped in my Mind
Firstly; To fly home to its tree. This line was very weak. Overall, i didn't feel any real deep emotion or see any in depth imagery in this poem. And ...
Apr 18, 2006 -
Re: The Rose
It sings like a hymn Growls like a beast Warm as the sun Dark as the night Just a suggestion; I think 'dark' should be 'cold' as it will contrast ...
Apr 13, 2006 -
Re: Under a Tree in a Cemetery
Consciousness sinks into wonder, And wonder into awe, This was my favourite part, i liked the rhythm in these lines. I did find the rhyming a little off however. Overall ...
Apr 4, 2006 -
Re: Secret Lies
This didn't really flow and had no real rhythm. I liked the content and this part; Tears stream down my face, I scream "It's too late, You've caught me at ...
Apr 4, 2006 -
Re: Rugburns
I liked the subtle rhyming. You managed to convey emotions well. And these deep, dank dark holes? Harder out than in I loved the alliteration. This was my favourite part. ...
Apr 3, 2006 -
Re: Caricature of a Deity
The vocabulary you used was excellent. I loved this story, i really got into immediatly. I liked the way you gave both characters their own voice(using their vocab, Such as ...
Apr 3, 2006 -
Re: avalanche
This was wonderful poetry. I really loved the 1st stanza the most. I especially loved the contrast made between fire dancing and bitter cold truth. Great poem :D
Apr 3, 2006 -
Re: use me
I actually liked your breath hit my skin are now bruised and your hands sprawled across my body to get your phone left burn marks I thoughtthese two parts were ...
Apr 1, 2006 -
Re: The Lady in the Snow
I liked the sudden shocking event, it certainly shocked me as the reader! Your rhythm was off, but the way it was wriiten was good. I thought you really managed ...
Apr 1, 2006
