Published June 23, 2011
Did young lovers dance with frantic eyes
‘Till day turned dusk and the moon did rise
Their faces flushed and with stifled glee
They spun and twisted, their bodies free
Wars were raged, cities fell.
And still these lovers danced through hell.
Their bodies slick and faces flushed
They danced away, their movements hushed.
'Till death did seek to break this trance
But still these lovers danced and danced
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141,385 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
Very whimsical, you could also turn it into a fairy tale if you wished to. Very interesting and while short, it was beautiful. Well done, and I'll be on the look out if you ever turn this into something more, there is something to it. Good job and good luck!
I don't even know what to say, this poem is absolutely beautiful! As I was reading I found myself longing to be one of those dancers. I imagined them to be a glimpse in the world of greek mythology, filled with beauty and symbolism, I especially loved the line
It just seems so serene and beautiful! The flow of the poem was great as well, just took me away
hello I liked this poem, nice description and use of words.
I really like these stanzas:
There is only one part that I don't like which seems a bit out of context with the body of the poem and is this one:
Overall nice poem, keep up the good work
i loved the poem.........i love the flow........the passion of the dancers is well put into words
I think this is a great poem. I love the visual descriptions as it helps convey the passion the dancers have. The rhythm is smooth and flows so well. Wonderful piece
This poem is truly lovely. There are a few gramatical errors I will point out a little later, but for now, let me discuss with you the content of your poem.
You have written this in the form of a question - it therefore needs a question mark after it.Content: I feel that there is a deeper significance to these 'dancers'. Otherwise, the thought is a little abstract. My interpretation of the poem is that, like an fluid Pair of dancers, true love in ever-going. I hope I'm right, but feel free to correct me Via PM.
Grammar and punctuation: Just one nitpick here -
That's all! Overall, this poem is very good. Your prose Is beautiful and the piece glides with gorgeous rhythm. Well done! I look forward to reading more of your work!
~ Alia
*like* and *follows*
Wow, very entrancing! This one quickly caught me in it and swept me away. It has a very melodic quality to it, smooth flowing and an easy rythym to follow. I especially liked the line...
Very poetic! But I guess that goes without saying; it is a poem, after all!
For grammar, I would probably put a comma after every first sentence and a period after the following sentence, but that's just how I do things, it doesn't make it the right way.
I liked the way we could feel the unbreakable love between the dancers, and how there was a small story to follow.
Overall, great job, I really enjoyed this!
<..> Kat
I love this. Very beautiful little poem, you should be proud. This is going to be a very bad review as I can't think of many bad things to say. The imagery is great, the rhyming pattern is simple but effective. The rhythm is good but the last line seems to break it.
I not worried about grammar but I sure some people will find problems, there could be more commas and full stops in places where they are needed.
Great work!