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Re: Saccharine
I liked this. It's all swooshy and smooth sounding. The only problem I had with it was this: although the large, uncommon words sounded nice, I also found myself going ...
Jun 30, 2010 -
Re: Life: A Game of Tag
I enjoyed that very much! Just a couple of comments... Where you capitalize AS or IN is a cool effect, but since you use both, it doesn't seem as as ...
Jan 22, 2010 -
Re: This is the prologue of my book :D no name yet.
I shall review this in purple! Falling in love with a human being was the biggest mistake Yuiko ever made. The wizard and medium, Daisuke Kurosaki, a man from a ...
Jan 19, 2010 -
Re: World collided
I shall review this in blue. Deeper into the dark corners of head I wandered, and Athena’s face popped into my mind. What was it that made her so irresistible ...
Jan 10, 2010 -
Re: First page
If this is a fantasy trilogy, shouldn't this be in the fantasy section...? I shall review this in blue. The sunlight shone with a strange magnificence, turning the grey frost ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Shay's Blu (Prologue)
This is intriguing, and I find I like it so far. You characterized Shay very well, though Cora is still somewhat vague to me. I am anxious to see what ...
Jan 3, 2010 -
Re: Can You Feel What I Feel
I like this, it's pretty. Just some technical stuff... Can you feel my sadness Slowly sneaking under the huge doors That block hell from heaven Blocks should be block. That ...
Jun 21, 2009 -
Re: Fast
In an odd sort of cynical way, I like this. It appealed to the social critic in me. I like the message it sends, I believe it also. Just some ...
May 26, 2009 -
Re: Fallout short poem
I liked it, though it could use improvement. It was thought-provoking. I'm assuming you were talking about either a volcano erupting or a nuclear blast, I couldn't really tell the ...
Jul 30, 2008 -
Re: Jesse
That was cute! I liked it! Jesse I love you like whoa, so please don't ever go. If you did I would cry, I would drop dead and die, [s]and ...
Jul 30, 2008 -
Re: +Acere [EDITED&ADDED]
Ok, I read through the whole thing, and I have a couple things to say. I sorta liked it, but it didn't really seem like it had a direct plot ...
Jul 30, 2008 -
Re: Pain
You conveyed the emotion well, but it did just sound like another random emo poem. If you went into depth more on what caused the pain, it would be better. ...
Jul 29, 2008 -
Re: Woozy
It intrigued me in an odd sort of "This is bizarre but I think I like it?" sort of way. It is definitely one of the more random things I've ...
Jul 29, 2008 -
Re: Parting
Overall, I liked it, but here are some things I noticed: But I knew this would coome That you may leave this place and our memoried here Tod fade and ...
Jul 29, 2008 -
Re: all these little things
I really like the content of it; it reminds me of when I go through my own old notebooks and remember things from my past. One random thing I noticed, ...
Jul 29, 2008
