Jesse

by Sportgurl46

Published July 21, 2008

In Poetry

ok, so I made this up in the middle of my school year last year. I made it for my best friend. I changed her name so it isn't really Jesse. This is just a silly little thing that I thought I would put on here. Hope you enjoy it :)

Jesse I love you like whoa,
so please don't ever go.
If you did I would cry,
I would drop dead and die,
and also I'd feel really low.

Comments & reviews · 11
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Chosenofair
Review
Chosenofair wrote a review Review · Aug 21, 2008

Ok, I know it's supposed to be silly, but adding the "whoa" made it seem just a touch too silly. I''m sorry to say it, but it reeks a touch of Aly and AJ. It is good, though. I can't write lymricks for crap. Just change your word choice a bit, and it would be better

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xxfourthelement
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xxfourthelement commented Comment · Aug 20, 2008

Very cute. I agree that the last line needs to be changed a little - maybe "and then I would feel really low" instead?

Hehe. It totally feels like a pop song. Very adorable.

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Sportgurl46
Comment
Sportgurl46 commented Comment · Aug 8, 2008

:) i wish i could hear it :)

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Nolan
Comment
Nolan commented Comment · Aug 7, 2008

rofl.
I loved this.

I was actually playing guitar when I read this, and I unconciously turned it into a little song.
:D

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Sportgurl46
Comment
Sportgurl46 commented Comment · Aug 7, 2008

thank you guys for your suggetions :)
ok, so this is supposed to be a lymrick and taking out the last line would no longer make it a lymrick. it is supposed to be funny (the last line) but i guess i am the only oe who gets it because i am the one who wrote it.
oh well :)

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Swottielottie
Review
Swottielottie wrote a review Review · Aug 6, 2008

errtu2: Please don't double post, unless that was an accident, its against the rules, I think! Sorry!

This was a cute little poem and I agree that the last line should be scratched.

Not much else to say except: this would make a cool song! I can hear the song in my head already XD

#Jesse , I love you, like, whoa!#


Nice little ditty.


Charlotte

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Wolf_Link95 Comment
Wolf_Link95 commented Comment · Aug 6, 2008

lolz short and cute last line didnt really fit but overall good job

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Amaryllis
Review
Amaryllis wrote a review Review · Jul 30, 2008

That was cute! I liked it!

Rascalover wrote:
Sportgurl46 wrote:Jesse I love you like whoa,
so please don't ever go.
If you did I would cry,
I would drop dead and die,
[s]and also I'd feel really low.[/s]


I really don't think the last line is needed, but oh well.

its super cute! and since it's for a friend, ignore my little statement above


If it's a limerick, dropping the last line would make it not a limerick anymore. Maybe you should think of something else that rhymes with "go" and "whoa" that flows better. But overall, I enjoyed it! It made me smile.

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errtu2
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errtu2 commented Comment · Jul 30, 2008

Oh sport girl
with a poem not hard to unfurl
i always miss that certain poem
that reminds me of puppy loves dome
and it would do me no good to lie
without limericks i would too die

User avatar
Rascalover
Review
Rascalover wrote a review Review · Jul 25, 2008

Sportgurl46 wrote:Jesse I love you like whoa,
so please don't ever go.
If you did I would cry,
I would drop dead and die,
[s]and also I'd feel really low.[/s]


I really don't think the last line is needed, but oh well.

its super cute! and since it's for a friend, ignore my little statement above

Random avatar
Yatta!
Comment
Yatta! commented Comment · Jul 25, 2008

That's too cute.



Courage, my soul! Now learn to wield the weight of thine immortal shield...
— Andrew Marvell