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Re: The Diamond Ground
Hey Fang! I feel it is my duty to give you a review, so I will, but I have noticed that you have equal reviews to submissions: please correct this ...
May 15, 2008 -
Re: Preface .
Hello prefect! Nice to meet you, I'm Mark :-) I am sorry to say, but you have broken a rule on YWS: we do ask that you keep your review:submission ...
May 15, 2008 -
Re: My Savior
Hey! Why has no one reviewed this yet? I took a step into the sea and got on my knees and just felt the water seep through the clothing and ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Jane Toecup
Hey! Enjoying YWS? I would just like to point out first the we do ask you to do two reviews for every submission you make, please correct this :-) Anyway: ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Heartbreak (deleted)
Hello! My heart it beating through my chest, Nice idea... but a little 'done'. I reckon you could portray the same idea in a different form, with a few metaphors, ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Pure Prolouge
Hello! Welcome to YWS! I am sorry to say, but YWS does requre that you do at least two reviews per submission, please correct this :wink: Because I am fantastic, ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Promises Not Kept (Part One of Three)
Hello! I said I would get to it… The room is silent, the air so tense I nearly choke. Great opening line here. Perhaps an ‘and’ after the comma may ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: No Point, No Purpose, Just Ideas.
Hey! I don't really know what it is, but interesting nevertheless. Genius is anything new. Cliché isn’t new, but at the same time it is. Oh the irony :wink: seriously ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Who You Are
Hey! Mind if I take a look...? I thought not: I found that this just wasn't dramatic enough. By all means, repetition can be great, but not in this amount. ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Stubborn Lover
Hey, welcome to the site! My stubborn lover, my mistress at heart she coxes me on when others would depart. I would put a comma after 'heart' and remove the ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Ignis Fatuus
Hello! I am really sorry, but this is just too much. I mean, this is 10,000 words - I don't think anyone will be able to sit through this. I ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: Cliche
Hey! I must say, I found that very entertaining. The way you managed to poor in so much cliché stuff, and still keep me interesting was great. The last stanza ...
May 13, 2008 -
Re: The Story Of Amanopalco
Hello! Firstly before I get into the actual poem, I will say to to remember that just because it is the start of the line, you do not need to ...
May 12, 2008 -
Re: Your True Name
Hey Jared! I think I checked this out a few days ago, but didn't have time to crit. Alright... Damned... so cold… almost gone. Dread spreading on. Lovely opening, not ...
May 11, 2008 -
Re: They told me to
Hi! :-) This is a very short piece, and I see it has already been reviewed to death with grammar, but I will just add my thoughts if you don't ...
May 10, 2008
