ahola!
the vague-ness allows you to apply it to your own life.
--- but i want to know what happend to her to make her feel this way or is she just lonely. extend it a bit more.
=)
nightmare.
ahola!
the vague-ness allows you to apply it to your own life.
--- but i want to know what happend to her to make her feel this way or is she just lonely. extend it a bit more.
=)
nightmare.
Hey,
Thanks for the reviews and I'll work on it some more. I just wanted to show it to people, I guess. ( Eimear - I didn't expect to wow anybody and thanks for the positive review!) My poems aren't really wow-worthy anyways, so I'm pretty happy with the reviews.
Thanks!
Alicat159
Hello!
My heart it beating through my chest,
But the sweet songs of my heart disappear.
It's....good. It didn't wow me, of course, but you made your intention of simply writing a poem and forgetting about trying to pin it down with punctuation and structure, ect, and I admire that. Heartbreak tends to be overdone by poets- but then again, we all experience it differently in our lives so why shouldnt we write about it? Your take was quite unique. So maybe if you edit it you will PM me?
Nice job, anyways.
Eimear
As the heartbreak set in.
sets
I would have to sey when I get my heart broken I will proble feel the same way.
okay...first of all, it was pretty good and I enjoyed reading it. I have some suggestions though.
I think if you were to come up with a better title, it would catch people's attention more. Heartbreak is so common that people grow tired of reading about it.
My heart it beating through my chest,
And my breath is coming short,
I'm doing my best,
Only to have you look the other way.
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