Adler77

I love this chapter! I was not expecting him to be in the game he played. I felt as if I could just see the MC setting up his character. ...

With the genre of this being fantasy, its always fun to figure out things about it. Like, what's the setting like? Is there any technology like our's or is it ...

I like this poem? Your title really caught my attention. At first, I thought that the speaker was some monster or demon, or something. As I read, I imagined some ...

“I wouldn’t mind hearing more your promiscuous scandal.” can be "more of your promiscuous scandal.” The mayor being the father of Tempest was a good reveal. Since he buried her ...

" Before we could walk up the hill, a short stopped us, pudgy man who " can change to " Before we could walk up the hill, we were stopped ...

"on the count that I just met in 45-minutes-ago.” change in to him "since these parts are teaming with beasts and bandits.” change teaming to teeming "letting a 10-year-old run ...

"With both side on his sides", side to hands? "I have to leave and se how the world has changed" , se to see "heading to th gate" heading to ...

Well, after reading about the festival, now I want some peppermint beer. The hint of dislike towards humans is interesting. I've gotta admit, the twelve gods of Candytopia pique my ...

I like that his memory took place in the year 2156. Makes it seem like the future from my perspective as a reader. Yet, it also makes me wonder how ...

I like the way you started the chapter off with Akira's perspective on being awoken. I like the dynamic between him and Queen Sugar. Such as when she teased him ...

If I'm being honest, your prologue summary got my attention. Seeing as how Adventure Time is usually light-hearted, I looked forward to a darker kind. I like that you introduced ...

I love your story so far. A superpowered family going to school! I can't wait to see their antics at school! I take it that Annie is the mother of ...