z

Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

The Last Human: Chapter 2

by kman134


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

“What is…Tomorrowland?”

The queen wasn’t familiar with the name and just stared at me with a perplexed expression.

“It was a theme park that featured a retro-futuristic theme based on the Space Age of technology. It was very popular in my time,” I tried to explain it as best as I could.

I stood up off of my knees and faced Queen Sugar. Then I added, “Now that I look at it, this entire kingdom is built on Disneyland!”

“Disney…land?” she repeated inquisitively.

“In my time, there was a popular amusement park filled with wonder and amazement, and attractions where everyone around the world would travel to see!” I lectured, starting to sound more serious as I educated her highness.

I then began pointing at some of the constructs in my view. “Your castle was once the Cinderella’s Castle in the Magic Kingdom, which had a narrative walkthrough of Cinderella’s and Sleeping Beauty’s story! Your village use to be Main Street where people go to buy merchandise, eat food, and play some games! Also, I think that red light district might’ve been Epcot.”

I didn’t to wait for her to respond. So, I began to head back to the castle with the Queen and her guards following me. When I was climbing up the imperial staircase, Queen Sugar caught up, pacing with her hands gripping the bottom of her dress as she ran.

“Akira, wait up!” she pleaded exhaustingly.

I turned around, flashing a stoic glare at the queen. It wasn’t that I had anything against her. I knew she didn’t have anything to do with my old world disappearing and being replaced with this…bizarre candyland. However, I had to be angry with somebody, or anything for that matter.

Sugar and I walked together, heading straight to the guest room. She started talking to me while we strolled.

“Back at the site, you said it was the last time you saw your mother! What do you mean by that?!” the queen questioned in concern.

I took a deep breath and explained, “I mean it was the day that she died and my whole life changed from then on.”

Ever since seeing the Tomorrowland theme park, a wave of memories started flooding through my mind. Although it didn’t help rid my amnesia fully, it brought back some important details of my past life.

“It was July 12th 2156AD. I was 7-years-old and my mother took me to Disneyland for the summer. At Tomorrowland, we went to the Captain Eo attraction where we watched the whole show with 3D glasses on our faces. Then we rode on the Astro Orbiter and Space Mountain. That’s when it happened. Right at the moment when we were about to leave the theme park, we looked up and saw a bright light flash in the sky. Next thing I remember, everything was burning like as if I was in Hell, and I saw soldiers searching the vicinity for any survivors, which was how they found me.

Can you fucking imagine it. A 7-year-old boy, holding his mother’s dead hand while he cried for help; that’s what they found. After that, I was taken to the closest family I had until they began passing me from one family to another. The rest of the details are a little blurry, but I’m sure whatever killed my mother must’ve been responsible for creating your world.”

Sugar avoided making eye contact. She reached and grabbed my right hand, hoping to comfort me in my time of painful recollection. That’s when a loud growling sound was heard, alerting us in shock. I realized it was coming from the both of us, which made us chuckled as we laugh at ourselves.

“I guess we forgot about breakfast, huh!” I pointed out humorously.

“I suppose we have! Don’t worry, I’ll have the staff prepare us something to eat!” the queen reassured, having a hand over her mouth as she giggled; the princess then left to alert her staff.

30-minutes-later…

The dining hall was large and spacious, having the same French-Rococo style as the queen’s bedroom, but with the color of salmon all over. We both sat facing each other at the ends of a long cedar table that could seat about twelve people with a silver candelabrum in the middle and a crystal chandelier hanging above our heads. In front of me was a plate of candied foods: Candied fruits, candied vegetables, and even candied eggs.

I was a little off by what was presented to me. The princess, who was enjoying her breakfast, noticed my hesitation.

She stopped eating and inquired, “Is something the matter with your meal. I could send it back and give you a better plate, if you like?”

I raised my hands nonthreateningly and stated, N-no, it’s okay, I was just thinking, that’s all. I mean, you’re all mad of candy, yet you’re eating candy, yourself. Wouldn’t that be considered cannibalism?” the queen just stared at me with an arched brow.

She appeared to be contemplating. Then she finally replied with a smile, “I suppose it would seem like cannibalism to an outsider’s perspective. However, even if it’s candy, as long as it’s in food form, the line won’t be crossed because it isn’t alive.” Her explanation did make sense.

Looking back at my plate, I grabbed the fork and took a bite at the “eggs” and was surprised by the taste. It was warm and gooey, having the same texture as a real egg. There was even the creamy taste of yoke, which confused my senses of whether it was a real egg, or not.

After breakfast, I headed upstairs and was about to return to my room. Suddenly, right before I could go inside, I felt something wrapping around my waist. I turned and saw it was the queen who was flashing a worrisome expression on her face.

“W-what are you doing, your majesty?” I inquired nervously.

“You’ve gone through so much. I was hoping that I could…you know…comfort you some more,” she murmured agitating. She looked embarrassed with her face flushing.

I didn’t know what was happening. The queen quickly closed the door and locked it behind her, preventing anyone from coming in. then she forcefully brought me to my bed and sat at the edge.

I was baffled by the gesture and right before I could respond, the queen’s lips were gently against my own, feeling the softness of her skin as we kissed. At first, I didn’t how to react to it. However, my body guided me by going with the flow.

All of time stood still as we were in each other’s arms. She tasted like strawberry bubblegum while her hair smelled like cotton candy. I was still skeptical that she was made of candy, even though she looked human. She pulled away and slowly undid the laces of her dress, slipping it off to reveal her inner layers. Then she stood up and started removing her corset. I was amazed at how big her breasts were, probably about DD-cup. Without hesitation, I cupped her breasts with my mouth, sucking them like a baby to its’ mother’s teat while hearing the queen moan. Her skin tasted like chocolate as my tongue swirled around her nipples. Later, after fully disrobed of our clothing, we laid under the sheets as we got in bed. She traveled under the covers; I feel her lips around my manhood as she moved in and out. I bit my lips from the ecstasy coursing through my system. Then, we changed positions.

I hovered on top of her as I thrust my hips into her womanhood. I made sure to take it slow because I didn’t want to hurt it. My thrusting accelerated as our breathing became heavier. With a bellowing yell, I climaxed inside her and just lied side-by-side.

“By the gods, that was amazing!” the queen sighed euphorically. She was smiling in ecstasy as she turned to me. She continued, “Where did you learn such moves?!”

I chuckled, answering her question with an innocent grin, “I don’t know. It’s my first time, so it must be from instincts.”

Leaning up, Sugar then asked, “How old are you, by the way, Akira?”

I answered straightforwardly, “I’m 16-years-old.” This seemed to have shocked her.

“16! That means you’re nine years younger than me!” she gasped.

“Wait, you’re telling me you’re 25-years-old?!” I remarked, a little astonished at the age difference.

I calmed down. Though it was absurd, there was one question I wanted to ask, “Queen Sugar…why…why did you do this? We barely know each other, and you threw yourself to me. Why?” my somber tone seemed to have broken her from her astonishment.

Wrapping her hands around her knees, she didn’t say anything as she let out a sigh. She blushed and finally answered, “I just thought that…with everything you’ve gone through, you might needed some comfort, even if it meant making love.”

Her smile faded into a frown. She leaned forward and pecked my lips, yet again. Then she added, “Ever since I opened your pod, I was enamored by you, feeling a sense of romantic awe from the way you looked. When you awoke, I couldn't help but to gaze into your hazel eyes, and I could see that you have such a kind soul. I couldn’t help myself to feel a sort of attraction to you, Akira.” I couldn’t help but feel honored that someone of her standard would like me. However, I began to think: Is it really love? Or is it merely just lust on both our parts?

For only a few seconds, I stared down at the sheets, looking at my left hand as it held the Queen’s. Just then, a loud explosion was heard outside of the window. Both of our eyes widened in aghast.

“What the hell was that?!” I shouted in horror.

I got up and rushed to the window, along with the queen who walked with the sheet around her. Her eyes-widened, seeing as the village set ablaze.

She clasped her mouth and cried. “Oh no! My citizens!” she shouted tearfully. We quickly got dressed and ran out of the room, heading downstairs where we were met with a number of disgruntled citizens.

“What going on?! Why is the village on fire?!” questioned the queen, having the same level of dismay as her people.

Running up to us, one of the guards—a large, stocky man made out of rock candy—was the first to speak. “Your majesty, a large hybrid-beast has infiltrated Candytopia! We don’t know how it managed to get through the wall, but all we know is that we can’t stop it, especially with the weapons we possess!”

With a stern look, the queen with her hands on her hips ordered, “Alright, round up whatever available troops we have and try to put out the fires, and rescue as many people as you can! I do what I can to detain the creature with any troops left!”

The troops saluted and complied, heading out and gathering reinforcements as they went into the village. The queen and I followed them out as well, but we were shocked to see the damage that had been done. Half of the village was in flames while those that remained were screaming horrendously with much of their bodies partially melted. At the end, we looked and saw a monster that had the head of a wolf and the body of a gorilla.

“What the hell is that thing?!”

I trembled a little. The way it looked as unnerving with its cold, dead eyes daggering at us.

Queen Sugar clenched her fists. She was holding the claymore she took from a suit of armor. She didn’t look away from the creature, answering my question, “That is a hybrid-beast. We believe it’s a relic left behind by the ancients humans after the war.” Holding the sword up, she stood in a battle stance with a determined scowl. “Honestly, trying to get rid of these things is harder than wanting to learn about them.”

The beast roared at us. Then it charged with quick speed just like an irate gorilla. I held my ground before the beast got closer. Queen Sugar charged and when the beast lifted its fist to strike, the queen dodged and stabbed her blade into the side of its’ arm. Wailing in agony, the creature swatted at the queen before throwing her in the air.

With lightning speed, I dashed and grabbed her majesty, holding her in my hands princess style before regaining my footing.

“How dare you desecrate my kingdom, you cur!” the queen berated.

I put the queen down, but not before watching her dash back into the battlefield. Not long after, some of her candy soldiers came later, charging at the monster and doing what they could to restrain it.

They threw rope over it. However, it was strong enough to break through. Then I watched them try stabbing it with their spears but the beast swung its large arms in both directions, sending them flying as a result.

I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there frozen, only to watch the horror that unfolded before me. All I could do was look down, clenching my fist and biting my lower lip until it bled. That’s when I heard the one thing that sent chills down my spine. Looking up, I was stunned when I saw the queen in the monster’s grasp, screaming at the top of her lungs while being crushed by its fist.

I felt something welling up inside me. Growling in anger, I charged at the beast with a bellowing roar and leaped up to its’ face while it was distracted. Cocking my fist back, I swung it across the creature’s face and struck it hard. Blood flew, not only from my hand, but from the creature’s face also. Luckily, the creature released its’ grip, letting go of the queen, and allowing me to leap and grab her, once more. At that time, she was unconscious. So, I was able to bring her to a safer location, far away from the ordeal and placing her on the ground outside of the village while I dealt with the monster.

I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know how I was running so face, or be able to hit such a giant target, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to beat that monster.

I launched a barrage of fists onto the creature, forcing back as it tried to block my attacks with its arms. I was quick enough to dodge before I attempted again, landing another blow to its face as more blood gushed out. I landed on the ground and watched the hybrid-beast screeched in pain as it covered its nose. Again, I charged. However, this time, I aimed for something more strategic. I jumped around before leaping on its’ back. I reached and grabbed its’ lower jaw. Then, I pulled back with all my might, pulling the creature back and sending it landing on its back on the ground. When it tumbled, I swiftly twisted its head before I heard the sound of cracking from its neck. Finally…I ended it. With one last twist, I broke the monster’s neck, hearing only a soft growl as the creature laid motionless.

Stepping back from the carcass, I took a deep breath and sighed heavily. It was finally over. The soldiers had finished putting out the fires and evacuated the residence in under the 30 minutes of the ordeal. Afterwards, they began bringing the people back to their homes as they prepared for reconstruction.

“Akira!”

My eyes-widened as I turned around. In the distance, I saw the queen waving her arms at me while running with her sword still in hand. When she got close, she was flabbergasted at the sight of the dead hybrid-beast that lied before us.

“Did you…kill it?” she questioned bafflingly.

I looked at my hands and clutched. “Yes…I did. I don’t know what happened…but something inside me gave me the strength to be able to take it down,” I answered somberly.

I tensed up when I felt her hand around my own. She smiled, saying affectionately, “It doesn’t matter right now! It would’ve taken more than hundreds of thousands of warriors, but you single-handedly defeated the monster and…you saved my life, and the lives of thousands of my citizens. T-thank you.” the warmth of her embrace made me feel relieved.

Just then, I heard the sound of clattering coming toward my direction. I looked and saw the denizens of Candytopia. “Look! It’s the queen and the human, and they’ve killed the monster!”

The candy people cheered as they rushed over to us. Grabbed us and held us up, cheering and parading us down the streets. They treated us like we were heroes and I couldn’t help but feel grateful for their gratuity. However, I couldn’t help but feel that it was the beginning of an oncoming storm.


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Sat Dec 31, 2016 4:45 am
Adler77 wrote a review...



I like that his memory took place in the year 2156. Makes it seem like the future from my perspective as a reader. Yet, it also makes me wonder how much time has passed since then that humans are extinct. At first, the sex scene took me by surprise. Though it was a smart move to include it; demonstrating that this is NOT Adventure Time, but something else. I like how Akira pondered whether there is a budding romance between them, or it was just lust. I loved the detail you put into it; I was even able to picture it. As for the battle against the monster, I'm unsure if Sugar is a warrior queen or she ran into battle out of necessity. I'm glad that Akira defeated the monster as if he had power or strength he didn't know about. I was worried that he couldn't fight and would be helpless.




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Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:42 am
ChimeraMania wrote a review...



"I didn’t to wait for her to respond."


You don't really need the first (to)

"However, I had to be angry with somebody, or anything for that matter."


You also do not need the second comma.

"She started talking to me while we strolled."


Strolled? I know it's another word for walked, but maybe something different than strolled?

“I mean it was the day that she died and my whole life changed from then on.”


Should it be I meant, because if he had mentioned it early then it should be he meant.

Ever since seeing the Tomorrowland theme park, a wave of memories started flooding through my mind. Although it didn’t help rid my amnesia fully, it brought back some important details of my past life.


I feel as though the part after this, with the memory part, you should italicize it. It will help separate that part from when they talk considering you already use " to show the dialogue, try using something different to emphasize that it's not them talking. You could italicize it or just use '.

That’s when it happened.


In the paragraph with this, in the sentences before this line, you are describing the rides and then you cut to this line. I feel you need a better transition than this or to just make another paragraph. Like..

.....(the lines you have before).....

That's when it happened.

.......(the lines you have after).....


It builds a bit of a dramatic dynamic if you choose to do it that way and who doesn't love a bit of dramatics.

"Can you fucking imagine it."


Bet you can figure out what's needed here right??????

Can you fucking imagine it. A 7-year-old boy, holding his mother’s dead hand while he cried for help; that’s what they found. After that, I was taken to the closest family I had until they began passing me from one family to another. The rest of the details are a little blurry, but I’m sure whatever killed my mother must’ve been responsible for creating your world.”

Sugar avoided making eye contact. She reached and grabbed my right hand, hoping to comfort me in my time of painful recollection.


All of that was just him recollecting or reflecting? I highly doubt the second half is what he was thinking at seven. I like this little background but maybe but it after Sugar grabs his hand. The first part on the recollection was most definitely more in a memory type setting while the second part seems more like something he would say after remembering.

You also said it brought him memories of his past life, is the memory being said out loud by him or is he the only one remembering? If it's both, like he is remembering the first part then you need a transition to where he starts talking to Queen Sugar, which is also why I suggested italicize the memory part or single quote it.

the queen reassured, having a hand over her mouth as she giggled; the princess then left to alert her staff.


Queen or Princess? Also after the quotation marks, if it's a comma before it then you do not need to capitalize the next word but you had an explanation point so the (t) in then needs to be capitalized. Or at least that's how I learned it.

I raised my hands nonthreateningly and stated, N-no, it’s okay, I was just thinking, that’s all. I mean, you’re all mad of candy, yet you’re eating candy, yourself. Wouldn’t that be considered cannibalism?” the queen just stared at me with an arched brow.
[/red]

she murmured agitating.


anyone from coming in. [color=red]then she forcefully brought me to my bed and sat at the edge.


Don't necessarily know where this is going but I'm at the edge of my seat.

its’ mother’s teat


Do you mean tit"



WOW I felt like I went into adventure time with this story. Just amazing. There are a bit more problems with capitalization and a bit of different word use at the end, at least in one spot if I remember correctly. I like that something just clicked for him to get him into the fight but then again I didn't like it. I wish he was looking around to at least try to fight you know, but again I like it is all the same.

A big help if something that you can do, is once others have pointed out some of the stuff that needs fixing is to go and reread the chapter yourself. Sometimes, us as reviewers, do not always point out the mistakes and it takes an author only know the true mistakes of their own work. You have the way you want it to go, so I know that you can also see where you went wrong a bit.

I gotta go read the first chapter now.
You did good. Good Luck Tottles.




kman134 says...


no, i mean teat as in "nipple".



ChimeraMania says...


Ah, never hear that word before when referring to nipple, but now I do so YAY.



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Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:10 am
Casanova wrote a review...



Heya, Kman! Casanova here with a review!

The first thing I noticed was a switch in dialogue that I really liked. The different tones in these paragraphs-

“It was July 12th 2156AD. I was 7-years-old and my mother took me to Disneyland for the summer. At Tomorrowland, we went to the Captain Eo attraction where we watched the whole show with 3D glasses on our faces. Then we rode on the Astro Orbiter and Space Mountain. That’s when it happened. Right at the moment when we were about to leave the theme park, we looked up and saw a bright light flash in the sky. Next thing I remember, everything was burning like as if I was in Hell, and I saw soldiers searching the vicinity for any survivors, which was how they found me.

Can you fucking imagine it. A 7-year-old boy, holding his mother’s dead hand while he cried for help; that’s what they found. After that, I was taken to the closest family I had until they began passing me from one family to another. The rest of the details are a little blurry, but I’m sure whatever killed my mother must’ve been responsible for creating your world.”


In the first paragraph you can't really tell the anger that would be portrayed, but in the second line it's definitely there. It surprised me, because it actually made me feel something. So props for that.
I feel like what we know about Akira's back story is strong, and I like how you did move that into the story. It really helps show something about Akira's character, and how she is. So props for that.
Again, I have to say I really do like the plot, but the one thing that bothered me was how the last one stopped and this one began. Both was in the middle of dialogue, and although that's somewhat suspenseful it was a small annoyance. It did keep me wanting to read on; however, so I guess that's a good thing. I would suggest maybe changing the conversation to fit the first chapter, and starting this one later(like, say, when Akira ran back up to the castle), but that's your choice.
Anyway, I feel like you're moving this along nicely and your plot is really going. Keep up the good work!

Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron




kman134 says...


you know, you keep calling Akira a "she" when he's male, right?



Casanova says...


I did not notice I was doing that, no



kman134 says...


that's alright. it happens




Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
— Helen Keller