AdamHomer

Sweet. Now I want to call my friends to play Dungeons and Dragons. This could grow to be a cool essay. Keep the idea.

This being the first entry I've read in the series I thought Jessica was the narrator as well. A tad cliche, more of a journal entry. Make the bbq more ...

Love a women with a bit of validated rage. Also, I'm smitten with the name Stella.

If I may suggest love, Read some Raymond Carver poems. More specifically 'An Afternoon.' Your piece is reminiscent of the feel. I can smell the salt water. Sensory attack.

For your age mate, you've got good grasp on voice. You're dialogue is spot on, but could use something a bit more dynamic. Don't quit mate.

First let me say i'm terribly sorry for happen to you. Good story, but a tad cliche.

pretty power imagery there Extremely cryptic, and in that mystery there is an undeniable draw This would make great prose.

Your honesty is comforting You are not only self aware, but you are devolping a world awareness. One of my favorites I've read on the site. :)

Thank you both for your feedback, i really needed it. Suzanne, in terms of being rather gross and a tad sophomoric I pride myself in being unapologetically honest. and "distasteful", ...

Haha thank you guys for reading. This is an except for a novel I'm writing. The novel is a memoir of sorts about a boy and his adventures his first ...

Clever dialogue, it really draws you in. Wish it was longer.

The last line is haunting and believe it or not it sticks with you. I wish i could say the same for the rest