90skids

thanks :)

I've just worked out how to split it into chapters :)

I will :)

Thanks for the really constructive criticism. I've altered a couple of things now, especially the last bit where she trips over the root.

Do you think this fight sequence is any better? And that%u2019s when they jump on top of me. I feel like I%u2019m about to be crushed by the person sitting ...

I've only shot competition pistols so I haven't really experienced recoil. Yeah, like I said, I think I'm going to add another chapter before the makeover where I have her ...

Because it's going to be a series, the security part should develop more as it goes on. I like the idea about her putting on weight though before letting her ...

Yeah, I was thinking along the same lines when it comes to the first bit of the chapter. You got any ideas on how to improve it? I think that ...

it's a good point about her being malnourished. I've changed it in my copy to have her saying that they've clearly put a wig on her starvation-thinned hair. I also ...

Thanks for pointing out the twenty metres thing; I did mean twenty feet. It's set in England (I'm from England so this was easier than setting it in say, America). ...

I've finished the book so right now I'm editing it, which is why I've uploaded it onto here. However, I have to review a lot of work to get one ...

Thanks for the review. I've already changed the sentence about her father in my Word copy but I haven't got round to changing it on here. Thanks for the suggestions ...

Thanks for the review. I've altered a couple of things now and it sounds a bit better. Thanks!

thanks for the review :)

Yeah, I wasn't a great fan of the last sentence either but I can't work out anything else to replace it with. You got any ideas?