Who will cry for me?
I am a bulging pathetic
I have a bulging synthetic
Hopeless old replic-A
Done before, seen before, failed before
Can this be more intense?
My wonder, my wander: should it make sense?
Help me unseen one to be able to
Help the unending truth I secrete you.
I am a bulging septic
I have a bulging magnetic
Hopeless old replic-A
Done before, seen before, failed before,
Oh wait; I have said this ol’ score
Please don’t cry for me
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I liked the rhythm in the words and I loved it. But what is it about? How does it imply to reality and fantasy? I didn't get it but I would like to so explain it to me.
Done before, seen before, failed before... nice. reminds me of a couple of things
A perfect statement of how I've been feeling lately. Emotions personified. You had an elogant use of words, yet at the same time it felt really relatable. I loved the rhythm and flow also. Hmm, I suppose I should find something to criticize...but as I try, I also fail. Nicely done.
Hello Sarebear
This poem actually talks about the feeling you have when you fail at everything or can't seem to get anything right. And then you expect some sympathy or comfort from other people close to you but then you look back and wonder if you are any worthy to have people's sympathy as hopeless as you are, you're nothing unique; after all, you fail everything you attempt.
Does that help?
I guess I didn't really understand this...it kind of cunfuzzled me. I didn't get what was happening. Maybe I'm stupid, but could you clarify a bit? Thanks.
Sarebear
hats off to you sir, this is boss. the thrilling unsensical style is a marvel, again i say hats off. heres the other two cence. i absoluteally love this, and it doen't make me want to be sick. five thumbs up.
Hmm.. I can relate to this poem, but the way you narrate and describe things is a bit off, especially if you're touching such a serious subject as this one.
To me it sounds more like a show-off of wonders of English language, rather than your own feelings and issues.
To me, it sounds as if you're trying to make your complex feelings sound more elaborate than they are.
I like your style though!^^
Keep writing!^^