Young Writers Society

Wow such romantics. It's nice one and like you said, is in the transformative power of love.
Yh, just like our reviewers actually pointed out, I think there may be to much of an over exaggeration in the work.
It's actually nice to stress words and lay emphasis for the audience, but to a limit. Many writer's don't seem to understand this fact and so they over emphasize things. I mean who does that? Whether we seem to write in the affirmative or not, what is actually important, is the ability to create a nice atmospheric imagination in the mind of the reader, be it a fiction or suspense. Most of the times, the points you are trying to create isn't really what people may look out, but the audible construction of words and sentences into something worthwhile captivating.
What you wrote actually made sense and it's a fact I would like to buttress with a little overview of analysis.
You see, love is not only something we create, its something that calls and comes to us when we are open to it. The transformative power of love isn't something that words may be able to express, but as time goes on, we discover that its rooted.
Less I forget, there were too much of breaks in words which caused you to make excessive use of the comma sign like the other reviewer pointed out and maybe you should work on that.
All the same kudos.. to a job welldone. Keep up with the spirit. Hope to review another of your work sometime.

Hi! raindrops is back again. Then I shall dive right to it.

I used to say I strongly believed, argued and passionately fought for, the idea that being alone, single, can have an array of possibilities, positive sides.

But when night fell I would hear the silence grow around me, feel it possessing me from the inside and I wouldn't have time to brace myself for the horrid feeling of incompletion and senseless existence that would catch me with overpowering force, making my throat shrink and my mind tight.

You are not perfect, but I am not either

But every single day I wake up in the morning , thinking of you, happy for no good reason, and dream of my future, of my imperfect life and your imperfect marriage to my imperfect true love.

Life is imperfect, but there is something perfect to be found in the imperfect.

Hello Yumi! I'm here to help get this out of the Green room with a (hopefully) helpful review! As I haven't reviewed your work before, I'll tell you what I tell everyone else. I don't mean any offence when editing your work and really just want to help you. If I overstep or become too harsh, just let me know and I'll lighten up on my future reviews Also, a late welcome to YWS!

But when night fell I would hear the silence grow around me, feel it possessing me from the inside and I wouldn't have time to brace myself for the horrid feeling of incompletion and senseless existence that would catch me with overpowering force, making my throat shrink and my mind tight.
This sentence here, although deeply written, is a bit of a mouthful even when thinking the words. If this was the only sentence like this, it would be fine and I would leave it alone but from what I see so far, the length often repeats itself. So for example you could have written:
But when night fell I would hear the silence grow on me, feel it possessing me from the inside with an over powering force. I wouldn't have time to brace myself for the horrid feeling of incompletion and senseless existence, making my throat shrink and my mind tight.
I switched the order a little and this is purely example but see how it flowed a bit?

Then, I would ask myself whether it was really me who chose this, who decided upon this unbearable state of utter loneliness.
Absolutely nothing wrong with this sentence. I could really feel the despair wash over me just reading it and it was just so perfectly written that I had to bring it to your attention.

Okay so the main thing I noticed was that when you were writing about the despair, all your sentences were very long and drawn out but when you came to the love, it became short and choppy. At first, I was relieved to see the change but then I found they were drastically different and in this way, the same. They were both beautiful with the words and feelings but with the more finer details, it became monotonous. One way to fix this is to vary your sentence lengths. Think...I have four short sentences and that sounds choppy....turn them into two medium length sentences or one and leave the other two. Make sense?

Also, as a smaller detail, many sentences are started with words such as And and But. This, again, is alright if it's used sparingly but it's used too much in such a small piece of work.

Anyways, I'm done being a meanie so now I get to do the part I actually like

THIS WAS AMAZING! I love the message you're sending through your work and it's beautiful. So many people have such a fickle view on love but you explained it perfectly. It's not all glory and extravagant vacations and such. It's an every day, simple love.
Your writing is very capturing and deep and beautiful. I'm literally at a loss of words (believe it or not )

Keep on the great work!
Honora

Hiyo! An amazing review for and Amazing thing. So I wont say anything bad, I don't do that. This is very well written and holds the attention of your reader well. When You write soul mate in it, it made me zone more into this then anything else. It hold emotions really well and shows a lot of effort. I want to thank you for making this amazing piece bc In everything i have read so far this held my attention the most so thank you.