[From the perspective of an outsider]
what happened?
what happened to that perfectionist girl
who scored As on the bible class exams?
what happened to her,
who stayed committed to school,
claimed she did not care what others thought,
tried her very best on everything?
the girl who did not fear to go to clubs alone,
who did not care if the world called her
"ugly" or a "try-hard"?
---
indeed, she was not entirely perfect,
consumed with insecurity and pride, in fact.
and her perfectionism in school deemed unhealthy…
---
but now?
---
now, she wastes at least ten minutes
in each bathroom break,
on observing her face in the mirror,
trying persuade herself she is not ugly
by the world’s standards.
---
now, she is scared to go anywhere without her friends,
for fear others will judge her.
---
now, she feels a desperate need to
be accepted and enter a romantic relationship.
---
now, look, as she binge-watches and binge-reads,
ignoring her mentor’s advice that
the addiction to those fictional books and shows
only leads to unrealistic expectations
and heartbreak.
---
now, watch how she screams and mistreats
her kind, resilient mother;
does she not know?
that someday nobody will be there to warn and guide her,
and tell her to stop scrolling, get out of bed,
to begin her day and at least try.
---
now…it is sad,
how adolescence has changed her,
how she has let herself be changed by the world.
---
what ever happened to that girl?
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Good morning :3
Because usually… usually that is not something someone who stops being the stereotypical student has trouble with. I would have expected quite the opposite… so this line makes me think that something besides the normal puberty happenings has gone down…I think the first few verses of your poem read very well! I like how you establish the base line so efficiently! But what really caught my eye was this line
But reading on I think it might be me that sees something more sinister here. I believe the swing from being uncaring to your own appearance to suddenly being hyper aware of what others might perceive you as… that can be not only unwelcome but downright traumatic too ☹
Ohhaaa and I wonder why reading books sets unrealistic standards tho! I understand the part abt watching the carefully curated short form videos on insta and whatever (I am old and social media-averse forgive me for being basically in the stone ages when it comes to this. I believe social media peaked with MSN and icq XD)
I feel your poem is very relatable; thank you for sharing!
(I don’t really feel as if this really is an outsider POV. It feels as if the girl herself doesn’t want to confront the changes so talks about them as if from a far away pov!)
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Sometimes, we cannot believe the change we see in others, or even see in ourselves. Personal change happens because of experiences, both negative and positive ones, however, the narrator does not explicitly know how or eve [/i] why the subject changed the way they did, which makes this question feel very genuine in curiosity and concern. It also ends the poem on an ambiguous note that makes the reader want to know what truly happened as well.I'll be using my own Watermelon Method of reviewing today!
Skin - Initial Observations
The title being "A Happening" vs. "Something Happening" shows that this poem refers to a singular "happening" among multiple "happenings". I love the ambiguity of it and how it reels the reader in to know what happened.
Rind - Interpretations
While most poems are a reflection of the narrator within themselves or someone/thing else, this poem takes a unique approach of being from an outsiders perspective.
As we go through this poem, the narrator makes observations of who the subject was vs who they became. Not only does this narrator observe the changes and unhealthy actions of the subject, but it seems as though the narrator is taunting the subject. This is shown through the beginning of the lines "now, look,..." and "now, watch...". The narrator is showing other people the negative actions and effects of the subject. This can either read as genuine concern, as though they hope other people notice, or a taunting tone of disbelief and disgust with the narrator. I love how this can be read in two different tones that still remain true to the entire message of the poem!
The poem ends with a true question...
Pulp - The Tastiest Part
The voice in this poem is strong! While this poem is from an outsiders perspective, it still feels introspective in a way. It feels personal and grounded. The message of the poem can also feel relatable to the reader, as they reflect upon the changes in their own lives and who they are today. You did a wonderful job of keeping this poem clear and concise to read and understand.
Seeds - Critiques & Suggestions
None! I think the format of this poem is interesting as it is inconsistent with stanza length, yet remains consistent in tone and emotion.
Love this poem and hope to see more from you soon! <3
Thanks for the review cherie, & you hit the theme right on the spot, what you said was precisely what I was going for!