Young Writers Society


16+

NYLON - 6

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

High above the glow of Nylon City, a young man stares at a flickering holographic screen, exhausted. He runs his fingers through his messy brown hair as his eyes start drooping. He sighs, leaning back on his chair and grabs a mug sitting at his desk. It’s filled to the brim with a blue liquid, and he takes a sip. The effect is immediate; he feels a surge of energy course throughout his body.

The young man calls out to the darkness. “Did you find them yet?”

A woman spins over in her chair. She has long, black hair and a purple and white cloak that looks comfortable, rebellious, and stylish all in one. She glances at his cup.

“Ocean Zing? You’re really accepting the chaser life, Jason.”

“This is just an energy drink, Z.”

She laughs knowingly. “A chaser energy drink. If you keep drinking those, you’ll rot your brain just like the rest of them.”

“Can you just tell me if you found them yet?”

After giving her a serious glare, Jason glances around uncomfortably. He doesn’t like this place at all. It’s messy and dark, with dim lights all around to add to the creepy ambiance. He doesn’t understand how Z can just live here.

She spins on her chair a few times, then shoves her tablet in his face. “I did find them, actually! They bought some Tier 3 passes, hit the Galleria Lux, and just ate at a street stall.”

Jason grimaces. “So they’re buying into the lie.”

“Oh, please. You’re the biggest hater of Nylon City, Jason. Learn to live a little.”

“Easy for you to say when you actually believe their lies. Just stick to hacking.”

She laughs and leans close to his face, seeming to relish in his uncomfortable reaction. “I think I will stick to hacking. You haven’t forgotten I’m infamous for being the greatest hacker in all of Nylon City, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. But if you ask me, a hacker with a name could never be a good hacker. The real good ones are the ones you don’t even know exist.”

Ignoring him, she spins in her chair again, almost like a little kid getting bored of the serious conversation.

“And stop spinning in that chair. It’s annoying. I’m getting dizzy just looking at you.”

“Don’t forget you’re on my skyliner right now.”

“This janky little thing? It’s nothing like The Celestial.”

Jason gets up from his chair, straightening out his jacket. He hops over a few wires and electrical cords that are strung about in the messy room. Then, he glances back for one last request.

“Send their purchase logs to me and keep me updated if there’s more spending.”

Z glances at Jason, curious. “What are you planning to do now?”

“I need to find them before things get out of hand.”

. . .

Cody steps cautiously into the clearing up ahead. In the middle, there’s a gray walkway that goes straight through the clearing. On both sides, there’s dark tiles with multicolored neon outlines strewn across the floor, forming some wild mosaic. Near the walls, there’s rows of neon plants that Cody’s never seen before, maybe to add to the quiet mood. Up above, there aren’t any lights—the walls open up for the stars.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” Cody says, poking Lilian as he looks up at the sky.

“The stars? Ruby was just explaining it to me before she walked up ahead. She said they’re always there, but the sun is always too bright so it blocks them out. Isn’t that sad?”

“It is pretty sad.”

“Wait, we shouldn’t talk about sad things. Let’s make some music!”

Cody doesn’t hear anything—just the faint hum of the garden’s power source and Lilian’s quiet breathing beside him. “Music?”

Lilian smiles and steps to the side. The tile beneath her foot lights up in soft violet and emits a gentle harp sound that shimmers in the air like glass wind chimes.

“There,” she says, spinning on her heel and stepping onto another tile. This time it hums a deep note like a cello string being plucked.

Cody jumps slightly. “That was you?”

“Every tile plays a sound when you step on it. She said something about a layered music experience.”

Cody hits one with a cautious tap of his boot. It flashes orange and gives off a quick synth ping that fades into the others. He then holds his foot on it for longer, creating a longer note.

Lilian giggles and hops beside him onto a blue tile. A percussive beat, gentle like a hand drum, echoes beneath her step. She spins to a bright green tile and hits a high, flute-like note that dances with Cody’s synth.

“See? You’re making music!” she says, turning to him with a sparkle in her eye. Cody laughs incredulously. He still doesn’t understand Nylon City—not one bit, but he’s starting to realize one thing: Lilian was made for this city. She belongs here.

“Cody, I was wondering something.” Lily says as she hops on a new tile. It’s a quieter blue that releases the soft voice of a singer.

Cody stops in the middle of a red tile, the low string reverberating quietly. “What?”

“Do you like Nylon City?”

“. . . I guess. Why?”

Lilian takes a deep breath and continues. “I think we should stay here, even after we find Rylan. I mean, it’s definitely better than the Sub-City. And we have this amulet. We don’t need to overspend but we can just live like this, just the three of us. Maybe Ruby can join us, too!”

“You want to . . . stay?”

“You probably don’t like the idea right now, but just think about it. It makes sense.”

Cody feels his brain agree, but for some reason, he still feels uneasy.

Lilian continues, “Also, I was thinking—you remember what Ruby was telling us earlier, right? The story about that boy she met before. Doesn’t that sound so much like Rylan? What if Ruby knew Rylan? We should ask her.”

Cody shakes his head. “There’s no way. That’d be way too much of a coincidence.”

“But it’s the first lead we’ve had since getting here. I think we should ask.”

“Fine, but it’s definitely not the same person. I’m sure plenty of people like Rylan come for the same reasons.”

“Well, you don’t know—”

She collapses forward midsentence. Barely able to react, Cody catches her in his arms.

“Lily? Are you okay?”

She pushes him away, regaining her balance. “Yeah, just felt a little dizzy. I’m fine.”

Cody’s eyes widen as he watches Lilian clutch her head, wincing in pain. She stumbles a bit, and Cody quickly grabs her before she falls. There’s no way. She’s only dizzy. It’s probably just because she’s tired. But Lilian used to always stay up longer than Cody while they were in the Sub-City. It couldn’t possibly be that.

“Dreamrot.” The word comes out of Cody’s mouth before he realizes. When Lilian hears it, she flinches.

“There’s no way. I’ve only been here for one day, and I still feel fine. Look, I’m not even dizzy anymore!” Lilian says nervously, but Cody senses weakness in her posture and voice.

“We need to find Ruby right now,” he says slinging Lilian’s left arm over his shoulder and helping her walk through Echo Garden. She complains, saying she doesn’t need the help, but Cody does it anyway. Each step on the music tiles still release sounds, but they now are no longer in harmony, and clash in dissonance. It’s almost as if the garden itself is angry with their presence. “You thought you belonged?” It seems to say.

“Ruby? Where are you? We need your help!” He shouts, but no response is heard. Where is she when we need her? He remembers Lilian saying she went up ahead, so he takes her forward through Echo Garden.

When they finally get out, Cody looks around, and sure enough, Ruby is waiting off to the side, but her expression seems colder, more businesslike. Her posture is straighter and she looks at them offhandedly.

“Ruby. Lily needs your help. She might be dizzy from dreamrot.”

She just stares at him, unmoving.

“Ruby?”

Finally, she responds, but her voice is nothing like before. It’s clean. Robotic. Inhuman.

“Trial period complete. Guidance services require 500 credits per additional hour.”

“. . . what?”

“Please provide payment.”

He steps back instinctively, one arm wrapping protectively around Lilian.

Lilian asks, her voice cracking, “Ruby, why are you acting like a servoid?”

“Please provide payment.”

Cody’s mouth opens, but no words come. His pulse drums in his ears. The lights around them blink rhythmically—too fast, too bright. His head throbs as he tries to understand the situation unfolding before him.

“Ruby . . . what are you?”

“Nexus Servoid Model: HN-7, Orientation Unit. Please provide payment to resume the experience.”

Cody feels his fear shift to anger. The pieces start falling into place. “Was anything you said true? The story about being a human. About meeting that hopeful boy in the past that we reminded you of?”

“Please provide payment.”

Cody trembles furiously, wanting only to get as far away from this robot as he can, but he realizes he has no other options. In this dangerous unfamiliar world, it would be impossible to do anything without help from a local, and Ruby is offering that help. He looks at Lilian, who nods weakly. She pulls out her amulet and presents it to Ruby, who scans it.

“Alternative payment method detected. Verifying connection to Milanova account.”

After a pause, Ruby says. “Verified. The experience will now resume.”

Lilian slips the amulet back in her shirt as she rests on the ground, laying on her back.

Immediately, a human-like expression returns to Ruby’s eyes as she kneels down next to Lilian. “I’m guessing she was feeling dizzy earlier in Echo Garden?”

Cody blinks, then quickly nods.

“She might be experiencing early symptoms of Deprivation Trauma. She must be extremely vulnerable to it if she starts contracting it on her first day. We should take her to a MedCenter right now. The nearest one would take about half a system hour to walk to.”

Ruby reaches toward Lilian, but Cody slaps her arm away instinctively. He feels a rage start to slowly boil in his mind. He quickly gets in between her and Lilian.

“Don’t touch her.”

“I’m only trying to help,” Ruby says, her eyes serious. She doesn’t look like a robot, and she certainly isn’t acting like one. “She needs medical attention. It’s not very urgent, but she definitely needs a diagnosis.”

Cody feels himself lashing out at Ruby. He shouts at her angrily. “How can we trust what you say? Was anything you said true? The story about the hopeful boy you met years ago?”

“The story was fabricated to increase user trust.”

“What about your . . . emotion?”

Ruby shakes her head. “Servoid’s don’t feel. We act. If you want, I can be more robotic, but it would make it more difficult to communicate. Please remember that I will still help you out to the best of my ability for the next hour.”

Cody feels himself shaking, but he reels his emotions in. He has to remain calm. “Then tell me. What is the best course of action for Lilian right now?”

“. . . we should find a MedCenter. It would be very beneficial to know what’s happening in her body.”

“We already know what’s happening. It’s dreamrot. Can they cure her?”

“I don’t think there’s a . . . cure at this moment, but you should still take her to a MedCenter.”

Cody glances at Lilian. She looks fine now. Is it really that serious?

“One more thing. If you’re really helping us, then tell me where Rylan is.”

Ruby stares at him for a moment before replying. “I don’t have access to that information. You can file a report to a spectroid—they have access to location data of all residents of Nylon City.”

Cody looks at the servoid carefully, weighing his options. He wants to scream with frustration. If Ruby was acting earlier, why did it feel real? Is he just too naive to notice? He wants to doubt her, but honestly, he’s not sure what’s real anymore. At the very least, he’ll take her words with a grain of salt. There could be some truth in them.

Ruby looks at Lilian again. “But most importantly, I recommend we head to the MedCenter for Lilian.”

Cody ignores her, turns around, and slowly helps Lilian off the ground.

His voice is low as he whispers, “Lily, can you run?”

“Run? Why would I need to run?”

“Just answer the question.”

“I guess I could. I’m not dizzy anymore.”

Right as she says this, Cody whirls around, his hand curling into a fist. With the entire force of his body, he throws a right hook at Ruby’s head, sending her stumbling backwards. The punch rips apart the right side of her face, revealing wires and mesh beneath the fake skin.

Everyone freezes in place for a moment—even Ruby looks surprised for a second. Cody slowly looks down at his fist, red from the impact. His hand trembles slightly, as if surprised that the body threw it in such a violent punch. Lilian’s eyes are wide with shock. Did I just . . . attack her?

Shifting her expression, Ruby looks up at Cody calmly, a hand lifted to examine the damage to her face. “Intentional damage to private property. If you run now, I’ll notify the spectroids. They will find you in less than a system hour.”

Cody starts breathing faster, realizing the gravity of their situation. He starts backing up, Lilian’s hand held tight in his own.

“You will regret this decision!” Ruby shouts after them.

He turns around and starts running, leading Lilian through the darker night streets.

She hesitates slightly, looking at him with a terrified expression. “Are you sure I don’t need to find a MedCenter?”

“We’ll look for one. But not with that servoid’s help.”

The night is still quiet, but now filled with an air of urgency. As they run through the streets, Cody’s unease doesn’t fade. In fact, it continues to grow. They may have escaped Ruby, but something worse could be waiting just around the corner.

He doesn’t look back. He’d rather face the unknown ahead, running away from the poisoned dream.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
ToastK
Review
ToastK wrote a review · Sat Feb 14, 2026 6:48 am

Hi yoshi! it's been a really long while but what better day than review day for me to revive my review spirits.. right (haha)? Anyways, I'll be reading over this chapter and reacting to things in real time. So, my thoughts might be messy, but hopefully they'll give some insights to what an adhd and probably literacy problem induced reader will think throughout this journey. よし! let's dive in shall we?

For the Story
Ooh, I love the opening line, especially with what seems to a reveal of the people that the emblem thingy that our two protags got at the beginning of the story belongs to.

She laughs knowingly. “A chaser energy drink. If you keep drinking those, you’ll rot your brain just like the rest of them.”

well... apart from the fact that our society is already getting severely brainrotted, this line really shows how dystopian this world is, even for the "rich" and more prestigious people that live in Nylon city.

“Easy for you to say when you actually believe their lies. Just stick to hacking.”

What lies? There seems to be things--truths, a lot more sinister than what lies on the surface and I like how this chapter is acting as an exposition chapter, as it worldbuilds some of the background for what's to come in the future.

There’s no way. She’s only dizzy. It’s probably just because she’s tired. But Lilian used to always stay up longer than Cody while they were in the Sub-City. It couldn’t possibly be that.

Oh no! Dang, brainr- i mean dreamrot really is fast and invasive huh. I don't have much else to add as the story's flowing nicely so far without any glaring problems that I've noticed so far.

Each step on the music tiles still release sounds, but they now are no longer in harmony, and clash in dissonance. It’s almost as if the garden itself is angry with their presence. “You thought you belonged?” It seems to say.

Ooh, i do love this bit, especially with how you are able to set up the scene so well and add so much more to the atmosphere that a reader's going to feel the unnerve that Cody's feeling. Being written in words always has the downside of not being as immersive as other mediums like sound or pictures, but you managed to utilize the unique details that words are able to give to pull it off.

Cody feels his fear shift to anger. The pieces start falling into place. “Was anything you said true? The story about being a human. About meeting that hopeful boy in the past that we reminded you of?”

“Please provide payment.”

Dang, what a twist of cold-hearted betrayal... There was something off about Ruby but this genuinely caught me off guard. I do wonder if this means that Ruby is just a side character, or that she'll actually grow into a character more than just the shell of herself that's a "servoid robot", eventually being able to help our protagonists from her own volition.



The punch rips apart the right side of her face, revealing wires and mesh beneath the fake skin.

Okay nevermind, seems like there is a completely different story that's going to happen. As much as I don't think this was the best decision that Cody could have made, it feels believable to me and I'm interested in why this plot device was necessary in the future. There is just something very human about Cody, especially with not just his feelings of betrayal, but also the absolute distrust and disdain he has against robots. For someone who was been taken advantage of his whole life, and being treated like property to these machines that are used to exploit by the rich, his actions feel justified and further ground him into the morals and values that he started with.


Itty Bitty Nitty Pickies
There wasn't that much mistakes or pieces of criticism that I could see. I didn't really pay attention to punctuation or grammar, and the story flowed pretty nice.

However, that doesn't mean that I couldn't find nothing (double negatives ARE a thing and ain't nobody got time for those who disagree).

“I did find them, actually! They bought some Tier 3 passes, hit the Galleria Lux, and just ate at a street stall.”
Removing "the" and making it
“I did find them, actually! They bought some Tier 3 passes, hit Galleria Lux, and just ate at a street stall.”
would be more grammatically correct as Galleria Lux is a proper noun.

In this dangerous unfamiliar world
Usually, two adjectives are connected by commas like this
In this dangerous, unfamiliar world


Not much else that I could spot. And for the story, I think it's great and your voice is clear and well paced.

All in All
What a beautiful ending, and it feels like a heavy meta commentary in a way.

Will I be reading the next chapter? yes. When? uh.......... shh... you never ask a bread when he will review. Anyways, happy valentines and also,

Happy Writing!

TYSM for the review!!! <33

Oh no! Dang, brainr- i mean dreamrot really is fast and invasive huh.


yep yep this connection has been made many times by my readers in the past. actually i recently learned theres a new hoyo game coming out called varsapura which features a disease thing called mindrot...THEY MUSTVE COPIED ME

As much as I don't think this was the best decision that Cody could have made,


Glad you mentioned this! It was a pretty dumb move on his part ngl but important for his character as u know

There is just something very human about Cody, especially with not just his feelings of betrayal, but also the absolute distrust and disdain he has against robots. For someone who was been taken advantage of his whole life, and being treated like property to these machines that are used to exploit by the rich, his actions feel justified and further ground him into the morals and values that he started with.


love this, no comment

anyway take ur time! idk when i'll post new chapters...as im sort of in a writing/revision/trying to write the ending/trying not to get distracted with little revisions purgatory right now... and coupled with loads of schoolwork (my ap lit teacher is not playing around) so no rush for sure

again ty for the review! looking forward to see you again^^

yosh

another new hoyoverse game? ToT I gave up sinking my life into gacha games in general. Not because I wanted to better myself (too much effort), but bc i moved out of my house which had the good pc and my crappy laptop gpu can't render in higher than 144p at like 2fps :p

oh yea the new game is on unreal engine 5 and the graphics are insane... apparently its getting mobile release but.... yeah we're not doing that to my cute lil android

User avatar
Tikaya
Comment

Ah just a thought. Feels like now that I read the other chapters, that I'm a bit lost on how they arrived at the echo garden

User avatar
Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review · Sun Nov 30, 2025 2:34 pm

Hello! I’m starting with Ch6 today as that’s the first of yours still in the Green Room 😊

While I find the first paragraph perfectly adequate, I feel like you could have put a bit more variety in sentence length and structure :3

I do like the conversation between Z and Jason. It flows very well. The surrounding narration is a bit too stiff tho. The descriptions of Z especially are kinda slammed into the narrative without any flair and I feel like you could do so much better :3

Ah I like that he points this out: “The real good ones are the ones you don’t even know exist.”

I do like the sense of urgency that comes through in this first part!

I like this sentiment: “She said they’re always there, but the sun is always too bright so it blocks them out. Isn’t that sad?”

Oh and I love the musical tiles! That part is very well described and goes well with your carefree characters ^^

Ah you are a bit inconsistent when it comes to dialogue formatting so let me bring clarity:

“Cody, I was wondering something,” Lily says

Lily says – that is not a complete sentence. You need something like “Lily says it.” to make it complete. That is why in this case, the speech is part of “Lily says”, they are basically one and the same sentence, this is why you combine them with a comma as I’ve shown here ^^

Oh no, I don’t know what Lily has but this already sounds serious. And Dreamrot? Terrifying name!

“You thought you belonged?” it seems to say.

Ohh and I love this sentence. [fixed the formatting tho!] This does echo Jason’s worries from the first part so… I’m inclined to be on Jason’s side and hope that the kids leave the city quickly…

Ohhh I rly like the fact that Ruby is a robot assistant. And… Ah the dystopia rears its head where even an emergency service costs money…

…and woah this blurs the line for me. Is she just simulating or is there just additional programming that keeps her from helping even if she wanted to? Ruby’s intriguing!
Ah the explanation comes quickly. I like this. I mean it’s scary but also realistic, I suppose!

Ah and the second she’s revealed to be inhuman, out comes the violence. I mean excuses can be made for Cody but at the same time… what’s the point? They just paid the robot, even! And it has only negative consequences. Oh boy… I didn’t think he would be that impulsive.

Also… If there is no cure I guess a medcentre’s really not the way to go. But sheesh…why hit the robot? I don’t understand ☹If they hadn’t have paid her, it seemed to me that she would have just… stood back bc if they don’t have cash, her company doesn’t care?

Hiii tysm for reviewing my work!!

It sounds like you probably haven't read the previous chapters, so I'd recommend you take a look to better understand what's happening (for example, it sort of justifies Cody's violent reaction to her being a robot, as ruby has basically been tricking them for the last few chapters, pretending to be a human, and he feels really betrayed)

I do like the conversation between Z and Jason. It flows very well. The surrounding narration is a bit too stiff tho. The descriptions of Z especially are kinda slammed into the narrative without any flair and I feel like you could do so much better :3


I do feel like I do that alot LMAO like im writing dialogue and then im like hold on i need to explain what this scene looks like so i start throwing descriptions in but maybe i can do it a little more naturally haha

Lily says %u2013 that is not a complete sentence. You need something like %u201CLily says it.%u201D to make it complete. That is why in this case, the speech is part of %u201CLily says%u201D, they are basically one and the same sentence, this is why you combine them with a comma as I%u2019ve shown here ^^


oooh i didn't know that. but i guess "says Lily" would have been grammatically correct in this situation then?

But sheesh%u2026why hit the robot? I don%u2019t understand %u2639If they hadn%u2019t have paid her, it seemed to me that she would have just%u2026 stood back bc if they don%u2019t have cash, her company doesn%u2019t care?


haha yeah it wasn't really the most pragmatic decision for sure. but people make bad decisions when they're emotional so i hope you can give cody a grace period at this time lol. but you are correct that she wouldn't have done anything if they didn't pay her. that's basically her entire goal is to siphon money from newcomers to the city

i saw you reviewed the next chapter, so i'll head right over there!! thanks so much for the review it was very helpful!

-yosh

Thank you so much for the reply! Makes me think that I'm not screaming into the void XD
I think that came across, what did Ruby tricked them. It just feels weird that he waited until they paid her again to punch get xd

And if you were to turn it around "says Lily " would still need a comma instead of a period in the speech :) I learnt all my dialog formatting from a really helpful grammar forum so if you want a link I can pm you!

I marked down your story for to read in full when the Green Room is empty :3

haha i like replying to all my reviews when i can glad you like it

yes please i'd love it if you could pm me the forum you mentioned!

a little unrelated thank you for your valiant work in clearing the green room <3



I feel like if men sent unsolicited dragon pics instead of *other* unsolicited pics they’d get a lot further in life
— ShadowVyper