NYLON - 2

by yoshikrab

Published September 7, 2025

16+

In NYLON

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

The metal under Cody's boots groans with each step, echoing in waves that seem to chase after Lilian.

She’s fast, but not fast enough to outrun him. Not when he knows all her hiding spots.

He finds her at the edge of the Patch, near a broken railing that overlooks the lower floors—one of the few places in the Sub-City where you can see more than ten feet of open space. Down below, Cody spots some people walking about, and even a small group of children playing in a garbage dump.

Lilian is standing completely still, both arms gripping onto the railing as she looks out into the darkness. Cody slows as he approaches, careful with his steps. He finds a spot next to her and sets the bags down. He doesn’t say anything at first, just staring out into the distance thinking of what would be a good way to break the silence.

“Are you okay?” Cody finally asks.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Really?”

She turns to face him, her face fierce and on the verge of tears. “No. I’m not.”

After a moment of silence, she keeps going, quieter now.

“I just wanted it to be real. I think . . . at the back of my mind I always knew. I always knew that Nylon isn’t the perfect place I always wanted it to be. But is it really that wrong to have hope?”

She continues, “I just . . . want to see it for myself. Won’t you let me go?”

He shifts his weight. Stares at the floor.

“You’re your own person,” he mutters. “You can do whatever you want.”

Lilian lets out a frustrated breath and throws her hands up. “You always say that, but you never mean it. The second I leave, you’ll be angry. Why can’t you just support me?”

“First of all, you don’t have nearly enough credits to even consider the idea.”

She looks up at him with hopeful eyes. “So if I find enough credits, you’ll let me go to Nylon City?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Come on, Cody. You said the only reason is that I don’t have enough credits to do anything up there, but I can just go to see what it’s like!”

Don’t go. You’ll end up like Rylan.

This thought immediately appears in Cody’s mind, but he doesn’t say this either. Instead, he shuts her down with an angry look. Lilian is visibly saddened, but this routine happens a lot. Still, no matter how sad she gets, Cody can never let her go to Nylon City. She’ll never be ready.

“Okay. How about this? If I can find enough credits for me to survive in Nylon City, you’ll let me go for a visit. If you agree to this, I’ll never ask about it again.”

After thinking for a moment, Cody finally says, “Fine. It has to be a lot though.”

Lily’s expression slowly brightens until she’s in a full-blown smile. No matter how many times he sees it, Cody just can’t get tired of that smile.

“I just realized.” Lilian looks at the bags. “We still need to trade all this stuff for credits.”

“Oh yeah. Almost forgot.”

They immediately start heading towards the trading post. As they rise in elevation, they seem to be getting closer to Nylon City; they even hear some music bleeding through the ventilation shafts and stop to enjoy it for a moment. Putting his ear up against the dirty vent, the sounds feel almost alien to Cody. The songs are upbeat and silly, and there’s a buzz of cheerful conversation behind it. Only in Nylon City could people be so ridiculously happy.

Finally, the two of them reach the servoid trading post. It’s a stark, boxy structure, half-buried in concrete and metal like a stubborn building that refuses to be swallowed by the Sub-City. It thrums quietly with the hum of machinery and flickers with dull neon lights above the entrance. An enormous sign reads above the doors: ‘TRADING POST SECTOR 3’. A handful of people linger outside, clutching battered bags and worn crates, eyes wary but hopeful.

“Let’s go make some credits,” Lilian says, and Cody nods in agreement as they walk in. Inside, the air is thick with the smell of oil and recycled air. A tall, angular servoid stands behind a counter, its glowing blue eyes watching them enter without a flicker of emotion. Every time Cody sees the servoids, he gets a little spooked. It’s pretty much built to look like a human, with long arms and legs, and even uniform clothes to match. Yet its face is stone-cold and heartless.

“I am trading post servoid J-10. Please state your account name and items to sell,” it speaks in a smooth, metallic voice. Lilian walks up to the counter with a swagger in her step. What the heck is she trying to do? Cody wonders as he watches her look at the servoid confidently

“J-10? I think I’ll call you Jaden. I’m Lilian Carter. Since there’s eight of them in the database, just pick the prettiest one.”

It ignores her statement and does a facial scan to confirm her identity.

“Lilian Carter. Tier 5. Current balance: 126 credits.”

Cody glances around at the room inside. There’s four other servoids interacting with other people hoping to barter, and there’s a few other Sub-City residents waiting in line. Most everybody is waiting outside, though.

“By the way, Jaden—I feel like we’ve gotten so close in the past few minutes, so you can just call me Lily.”

“Please state your items.”

“Glad you asked!”

Lilian reaches inside her bag and pulls out the fork from earlier. She waves it in the servoid’s face and starts her spiel.

“I bet you’re wondering where that fork is from. Let me tell you, this festive from Gourmandia–”

The robot quickly swipes the fork from her hand. Then, it extends its scanning module, a thin blue beam flickering across the stained fibers. A few clicks later, it chimes.

“Value: five credits. Please state any additional items.”

“Are you serious, Jaden? I wasn’t even done with the story!” Lilian complains, but the servoid is completely unfazed.

“Undamaged utensils are worth five credits.”

Lilian grabs her entire back of forks and spoons and is about to take one out separately, when the servoid realizes what she’s about to do and snatches the entire bag out of her hands. She waits as it finishes analyzing all the utensils.

“Hey Jaden, will you tell me what this ball is for?” Lilian asks as she pulls out the Grafton Bouncy-Ball and puts it in the servoid’s metallic hands. After a moment of inspection it’s ready.

“This is a Grafton Bouncy-Ball, manufactured by Grafton Industries, a company that produces childrens’ toys. The ball is filled with elasticity-enhancing machinery that improves the bouncing efficiency of the ball. The purpose of the ball is to be thrown at hard surfaces for leisure. Value: thirty credits.”

As she hands the ball to the servoid, Lilian turns to Cody and smiles proudly.

“See? Leisure.”

Cody pulls out one of the small screens that she had found. It’s somehow still operating, replaying some unintelligible message repeatedly. The servoid inspects it.

“So what’s this?” Cody asks. Lilian leans in closer, curious about its worth.

“Communication device manufactured by Braxton & Co. Portable. Minimal exterior damage. Functionality: partial. Value: fifty credits.”

Lilian’s jaw drops. Cody raises his eyebrows.

“Please state any additional items.”

For the next few minutes, Lilian keeps digging out her various items, but none of them are worth nearly as much as she imagines. When the bags are all empty, the servoid takes all the items and walks back into the farther reaches of the trading post—likely where it will submit the items. As the servoid walks away, Cody remembers.

“Lily. You forgot the amulet.”

“Oh, whoops. I’ll just add it after. It’ll all be on my account anyway.”

The servoid returns in a few moments, its hands empty.

“Total: one hundred thirty-two credits.”

“Wait before you do that, can you inspect this amulet, too?”

Cody still remembers Old Benson’s fantastical explanation of it, but he’s not too sure of how accurate the man’s information is. Either way, Lilian seems too tired to even give a fantastical explanation of the amulet’s worth, so she holds it out silently. It scans it once, then twice, then a third time. Cody and Lilian just look at it, intrigued. Cody wonders if something in the system is messing it up.

“Pure gold amulet. Engraved with the crest of the Milanova Family. Has a direct connection to the Milanovas’ family account and can be used to purchase access Tiers as well as cover spending only within Nylon City. Value: five thousand credits.”

“Five thousand?” Cody exclaims, slamming his hands on the table, and suddenly all heads in the room turn to him. With an embarrassed apology, he slinks back a little, red in the face.

“Correct,” the servoid responds, “Will this be your last item?”

The servoid holds out its tray expectantly. Immediately, Cody can't help but imagine how much these credits would make their life easier. Five thousand credits. No more near-spoiled food scraps or dirty water. A place to sleep without mold or rats or the constant hum of desperation. For a week—maybe two—they could be more than just surviving.

He glances at Lilian. She hasn’t moved. Her eyes are fixed on the amulet, not seeing the five thousand credits, but something else.

“You said it can cover spending in Nylon City?” Lilian asks, gears turning in her head.

“Yes,” the servoid responds. “The Milanova family is also reportedly wealthy.”

“Lily?” Cody says, voice low.

She doesn’t answer. Doesn’t even blink. But something shifts in her face. Then she steps forward and speaks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“On second thought,” she says slowly, “I’ll keep this amulet.”

The servoid asks, “Confirmation for deposit of 132 credits?”

“Confirm,” she says, louder now. She reaches out her arm, a golden glow appearing on her wrist. Her account information is displayed in glowing letters and the servoid taps her wrist twice.

Once the credits are transferred, she spins on her heel and bolts from the post, the amulet clutched tightly to her chest like it’s something sacred.

Cody stares after her, stunned.

“Lily, what the hell—” he mutters, then scrambles to run after her.

The neon glow of the trading post fades behind them as Cody chases Lilian through the winding tunnels of the Sub-City. His boots slap against the cracked pavement, the sound echoing off the damp concrete walls. Ahead, Lilian darts around corners with the desperate pace of someone chasing a dream that was once just beyond her fingertips, but is now within reach.

“Lily! Stop!”

She doesn’t slow down. She never does.

Watching her pull ahead twists something in Cody’s chest. This is how it always goes—Lilian surging toward some far-off light, him scrambling to follow. He tries to rein her in, to shield her from the fall he knows is coming, but she’s always faster. In the end, she wins. Every time.

She finally skids to a halt near a rusted guardrail overlooking one of the deeper chasms of the Sub-City. The air here is thick with the scent of mildew and distant machinery. Below, flickering lights outline the jagged edges of collapsed infrastructure, another forgotten layer of the underground.

But she’s not looking down– she’s looking up. When Cody reaches her, he’s gasping and panting, while Lilian stands completely still, staring off into the distance.

She’s never quiet. She fills the silence with chatter, complaints, or even a tune under her breath. But now, she’s completely silent.

It’s like she’s holding her breath, ready to take the dive. Her eyes aren’t glittering with wonder the way they usually do. Now, they only reflect a distant glow—dim, distant, and unreachable. Cody squints into the haze, catching the faint shimmer of spires and moving lights. Could it be? Nylon City? But he can’t be too sure.

Cody breaks the silence.

“What is this place, Lily? I’ve never been here before.”

“Yeah, it’s cool isn’t it . . .” she replies mindlessly, her eyes still fixed on Nylon City in the distance. Suddenly, she turns to him, the sparkle returning to her eyes, as if she just remembered something important.

“I have something to show you!”

Without another word, she leads him along the edge of the chasm, where the ground narrows into what looks like an old inspection path. It isn’t much—just a strip of reinforced steel built into the side wall, maybe once used by engineers or servoid crews. Exposed and half-forgotten, it runs a short distance across the yawning gap.

“There’s handles on the wall. Hold onto those and you won’t fall,” Lilian adds.

Cody hesitates at the edge, peering down into the yawning dark below. The drop is a bottomless pit of the Sub-City, filled with darkness, heat vents, and distant industrial groans. But Lilian’s already ahead, walking like she’s done it before.

In the middle of the span, halfway across the chasm wall, a ladder clings to the side of a column, bolted into old steel and concrete. It looks ancient, but the wear on the rungs betrays its use. Someone, maybe many someones, have climbed it before. Lilian grabs hold without pause and starts up, one hand over the other, boots clinking steadily against the metal. Cody gulps, glancing once more into the pit below. Then he grabs the ladder and follows.

At the top of the ladder, they emerge onto a wide platform. It’s a flat expanse of metal, the size of a room that’s been stripped of its walls and ceiling. It stretches out into open air, suspended above the chasm like a secret stage.

Scattered across the surface are forgotten remnants: dented crates with no markings, probably long emptied; rusted barrels that have cracked and leaked, leaving dark, oily stains baked into the metal floor. The whole place feels abandoned, but not untouched.

“Cody! Look up there!”

His eyes follow Lily’s finger pointed up in the air. For as long as he could remember, the ceiling of the Sub-City was the end of the world. It was the highest anything could go. There was no beyond, no higher ground, just concrete and pipes.

But now, standing here, everything changes. The walls of the chasm stretch impossibly high, like they’re trying to contain the world itself… but eventually, they stop.

And above them is Nylon City.

It’s only a sliver. A glimpse. But it’s enough. Cody watches in silence at the breathtaking slice of the glittering display of color and movement, alive with energy. He spots small dots that are likely servoids floating around, ready to serve their rich customers. And behind them, towering high, are buildings wrapped in neon: pink, blue, and electric white, shimmering brightly to keep everyone awake.

“It’s . . . amazing,” he says, unable to hide the wonder in his voice.

“Isn’t it, isn’t it?” Lilian says excitedly, “Rylan took me here once. Of course, now that he’s in Nylon City, he doesn’t have to come here to take a peek at it. It’s kind of hard to see, but there’s a little bit of sky behind those tall buildings. And sometimes it’s brighter and sometimes it’s darker. The sky changes all the time!”

Cody just keeps looking up, impressed. But he quickly shakes his head, clearing away the dream. He has to return to the matter at hand.

“Lily, Why did you bring me here today?”

Lilian replies, “I wanted to show you what Nylon City looks like, now that I’m finally allowed to go.”

“You can . . . finally go? What do you mean?”

She holds out the amulet that she never turned in to the servoid at the trading post.

“Remember what the servoid said? You can use this to buy stuff in Nylon City. That means I can finally visit Rylan! I can finally go to Nylon City!”

His stomach drops.

“Lily—”

“You promised,” she cuts in, voice trembling. “You said if I found enough credits, I could go.”

Cody’s jaw clenches. He always knew that Lilian’s biggest desire was to visit Nylon City, and rightfully so—the Sub-City is pretty bleak in comparison. While he’d envisioned this scene many times in his head, he never expected that Lilian would find such a perfect item to convince him. The amulet can only be used in Nylon City, and it has a great deal of credits attached to it. But what if the credits run out? What if the connection to the Milanovas’ account is severed? What if she loses the amulet?

But these problems only pale in comparison to what Cody is worried about the most.

What if Lilian decides to never come back?

“You’ll just be tricked!” he blurts out, and Lilian jumps a little. She looks at him cautiously, curious as to what he means. Cody takes a deep breath to calm himself. It’s already too late to keep hiding information. He has to tell her, before she leaves him behind forever.

“Lily, there’s something I’ve never told you about Rylan.”

“What is it?” she asks, her voice unsure, as if she doesn’t want to hear the answer.

Cody looks away for a moment, eyes fixed on the glowing skyline above them.

“He said he’d be gone a week,” he says finally. “Just one week. That’s what he promised me.”

Lilian blinks. “But it’s been—”

“Three months,” Cody finishes for her. “I waited. Every day, I waited. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to believe it either. But he's not back, Lilian. I think . . . something might have happened to him up there, and it’s probably not good. You know how he is—outgoing and easily excited, but also ambitious. Easily taken advantage of.”

Just like you. But Cody doesn’t say that out loud.

Lilian doesn’t speak. She just stares at him, hurt and confused. She’s spent the last few months thinking that Rylan was off partying away, and now that dream is shattered. Cody knows she must feel terribly betrayed and that’s why he never wanted to say it. But he had to do this, to make sure that she never wants to go to Nylon City ever again.

A silence stretches between them and Cody lets it.

He figures this is it—the moment she finally understands, finally sees why it’s better to stay grounded, to stop chasing dreams that’ll only betray you. He keeps his eyes on the skyline, waiting for her to say she decided to stay.

Instead, her voice cuts through the stillness—brighter, surer than ever.

“Then I have to go to Nylon City.”

Cody turns to her, startled. “What?”

“If Rylan’s in trouble, that’s exactly why I should go. I can’t just leave him up there.”

“Wait, no. That’s not—” He runs a hand down his face, exasperated. “You’re not hearing me, Lilian. I’m telling you this to stop you from going.”

But she doesn’t back down.

“He’s just as much of a friend to me as you are. I can’t just abandon him!”

Cody exhales slowly, the fight draining out of him. His shoulders slump, and when he finally speaks, his voice is tired and worn thin.

“I’m not trying to abandon him, Lily.”

He looks down at his hands. They’re clenched, even though he didn’t realize it.

“I just… I can’t lose anyone else. If you follow him up into that glowing city . . . I’ll be all alone.”

He thinks back to those days of scavenging with Lilian, and even earlier, when Rylan was still with them. The three of them were a great team, working together to dig through trash and find valuables. It was difficult and tiring, but at least he was with them. At least he had something to live for.

If even Lilian leaves him, there will be nothing left. His mind starts racing. What else can I do? What else can I do to stop her? I can’t let her leave.

But before he can say anything, Lilian grabs his arm, grounding him back in reality.

“Then come with me.”

“. . . what?”

“Come with me to Nylon City. You won’t be alone if you come with me while I look for Rylan.”

She smiles at him—wide, bright, stubbornly full of hope—and Cody feels his resistance start to melt. Maybe it was never truly there. Part of him always wanted to see Nylon, no matter how often he denied it. He just never imagined it would actually be within reach. But here it is, dangling in front of him like a frayed dream, and this time, he’s ready to grab it. Lilian’s still charging off ahead as fast as she can, but this time, Cody will follow.

“Do we have a deal?” Lilian asks, holding out her hand for a handshake. Cody hesitates—but only for a breath. Maybe this was what he always wanted. Cody shakes her hand with as much conviction as he can muster.

“Deal.”

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review Review · Dec 8, 2025

Alright, second chapter. I’m slow today but I hope this helps you anyway :3

I like this image: “echoing in waves that seem to chase after Lilian.”
I do enjoy the beginning a lot! It works very well.
I am just surprised that Lily is so devasted after hearing only one account of what Nylon is all about? I expected her to reject this or make excuses, rather than believing it whole-heartedly and letting it shake her world view. That is an interesting character note!

Oh also interesting that she asks Cody for permission but he immediately shuts that down with saying that she can do whatever she wants, he’s not making decisions for her. That, I like. I don’t like that this is not actually what he means. What’s the age difference between them? How’s HE in a position to hold Lily back like this? I just really, really don’t like this. It feels like these two don’t communicate about this at all. If Cody is not good enough at getting through to her about the danger of Lily’s dream then he just has to suck it up and let her get hurt. I don’t like how much power you give him over her with that.

Oh goody, more formatting: “I just realized.” That’s not a complete sentence so maybe either a dash or … would have to go here. I think, if you put the not-speech tag sentence in commas, that might also work. Have to check the formatting guide for this.

I like how this suggests that even Cody might have a slight bias in favour of Nylon: “Only in Nylon City could people be so ridiculously happy.” Even he’s blinded by the glamour, even if he’s not openly admitting it =D

I like how you describe the trading post. Especially this: “eyes wary but hopeful.”
A missing the period here: “Cody wonders as he watches her look at the servoid confidently”

I do like Lily’s confidence here. Have I mentioned that I love her? “I feel like we’ve gotten so close in the past few minutes”
Hey, the bouncy ball is almost as good as the machinery =D
Wait, why did she only get 132 credits? She had a few utensils, let’s be charitable and say it’s 10, then there would be like 50 alone for those. Pluse the ball which is 80 and then an additional 50 for the screen for 120 so all the rest is just 12 credits? oô At first I thought maybe she and Cody have different accounts and therefore the ball and the device go to his but later, they run out without scanning his items so … I am confused.

Oh I rly like that Lily can see further than this: “not seeing the five thousand credits, but something else.” I mean it is still all in service of her goal but I feel like this makes her a bit smarter than she’s currently presented and I value that a lot.

Ah just remember that at the beginning of the chap you stated that Cody will always catch up to Lily bc he knows where she hides so try not to contradict this by now stating that she wins in the end every time when she runs from him.

I like this description: “Her eyes aren’t glittering with wonder the way they usually do. Now, they only reflect a distant glow—dim, distant, and unreachable.” I like that this shows how serious the issue is for Lily. That this is rly what she wants and that it might be achievable now.

I really like how you describe Lily leading Cody to this tunnel, her confidence and his obvious trepidation. Very well done! Also that he implicitly trusts her without questioning her is the first positive character interaction that I really took notice of between them. I feel like this is how their relationship is supposed to look like and you got a little carried away with this overprotectiveness from Cody that doesn’t work for me.

Nice description! “The whole place feels abandoned, but not untouched.”

I do wonder why she never took him there before. I feel like this place, this glimpse, is a huge part of the reason why Lily is so obsessed with the city. Maybe this would have helped Cody also understand that part of her better?

Again I feel so… hnng uncomfortable when Lily says that Cody is the reason she’s “finally allowed to go”. I have had only 1 chapter with them (let’s not count my future sight) and … well. I don’t really see a reason why she’s so dependent on him aside from her being naïve and even that is just… an informed attribute since she’s clearly doing things on her own, discovering this glimpse of the city w/o Cody, taking care of/playing with the kids, doing her own scavenging (even if it was mostly junk) so having her be like “Cody is the person that needs to give his consent for me to go do what I want” is just… hnngg

I think Cody’s concerns about the amulet are more than valid. I also think that…. The way the information is presented is rather dull. It would be much more interesting to have them actually ARGUE about that, where both of them have valid things to say. Basically where both of them are treated as equals with viewpoints that have to be taken seriously. Right now, all Cody does is talk down on Lily in service of protecting her and that is not a good look. Even this “He always knew that Lilian’s biggest desire was to visit Nylon City” is kinda condescending if you think abt it :/ What does HE want? It sounds like he’s afraid of her leaving him but he also doesn’t really have any future laid out for them either. Just this endless state of surviving. Wish we got a bit more motivation out of him aside from … clinging to Lily.

I do like the way that Cody brings Rylan up here. This entire convo and the surrounding narration flows really well! It’s just… another knock against Cody since he kept this important info from Lily for no good reason. Well, it probably sounded good to him but you do realise that this is not good, right?

Cody, I do not like this part of you. I hope you grow out of it. You KNEW she would find out eventually and you still kept it from her? “Cody knows she must feel terribly betrayed and that’s why he never wanted to say it.” Like, look how this should shaken her trust in him.
I still don’t know what Rylan is to them both but it sounds like they were good friends. Maybe Rylan was better friends with Cody, considering he told him more of his plans. Or maybe Rylan, like Cody, also decided that Lily is not worth considering.

Also, just the fact that Cody thinks this will make Lily reconsider just makes me think that he doesn’t know this girl at all. Because I, who has known her for 1.5 chapters (and a few future chapters), can see her reaction coming from kilometers away: That now she wants to go up there and save their friend with this money machine she found. It was so obvious, I have no idea how Cody could possibly miss it.

But I do like that he eventually admits that this is more about himself than anything Lily is doing or even Rylan decided to do: He does not want to be alone. I like that he says that, even if it comes pretty late.

Well one thing is clear, if Lily sets her mind to it, no matter the internal worrying Cody does, she will drag him along with her. He stated that earlier, yes but it is nice to get the confirmation at the end of the chapter.

Ok, so… you probably realized I wasn’t happy with the dynamic shown between Lily and Cody this chapter. It does seem that Lily, with her naivete is too dependent on Cody and he gets to control too much of her life. I really don’t like that he gets to decide what she can do, even if it’s for her best interest. Like, if she cant be reasoned with, then that is a much deeper problem, right? Also that the second that Lily decides on something that Cody doesn’t want and she asks him nicely, he immediately folds and goes with her. Ah talk to each other pleassee, make plans together instead of against each other ☹

Hm I didn’t like how Cody’s portrayed this chapter. I learnt a lot of stuff but mostly that he’s very co-dependent on Lily and very lonely, so much so that he’s doing everything he can to keep her here. I mean he’s going to be proven right, that Nylon is just as bad as he thought, but at the same time, it’s not rly his decision right now. In addition, he kept a pretty huge secret from Lily under the guise of protecting her and that is a HUGE nono for me.
Lily is better. I like her a lot. She showed more of her personality here. I don’t like how she’s letting Cody decide what she’s allowed to do (sry for hammering on that point, you have to give a good explanation for why that is) but I like how she stays true to her goal and how she’s aware that it wont be all sunshine and rainbows. I also enjoy characters that go to the distance for their friends once they realise they need help. I also also enjoy that she apparently has a life outside of Cody, doing stuff with just Rylan that Cody’s not part of. Maybe Cody needs some of that too because he seems to only exist in her orbit. No wonder, she’s glorious but still =D

Okay, theories. Hmmmm. We get to see Cody interact with the world outside of Lily. Some memory or anecdote. A girl can hope, right?
The amulet will be used frivolously and that’s how they pop up on the radar for mystery guy and mystery girl hacker. The family will notice the financial drain rly late bc they are just that rich.
Oh fun theory time: the family actually murdered one of their own for an as of yet unknown reason and dumped them in the garbage never to be seen again. That is why the amulet was there in the first place.
Interesting stuff 😊

User avatar
Wolfi
Review
Wolfi wrote a review Review · Sep 13, 2025

Hey Yoshi! I'm excited to jump into chapter 2!

“Are you okay?” Cody finally asks.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Really?”

She turns to face him, her face fierce and on the verge of tears. “No. I’m not.”

I almost think this would be more impactful without that "No. I'm not" bit at the end. I know when I'm close to tears, it can be really hard to speak honestly and easier to either stay quiet or just say that I'm fine until I can regain some control.

She continues, “I just . . . want to see it for myself. Won’t you let me go?”

I still don't know exactly what their relationship is (biological brother and sister? found brother and sister? friends?) but this makes it seem like Cody definitely has some authority over Lily, like a family member would.

After thinking for a moment, Cody finally says, “Fine. It has to be a lot though.”

Lily’s expression slowly brightens until she’s in a full-blown smile.

A precise number here may be helpful! I don't feel like Cody would agree to this vague "a lot" promise - she could slip around that too easily. I also highlighted that "in" here because another word like "wearing" would be a better fit!

“I just realized.” Lilian looks at the bags. “We still need to trade all this stuff for credits.”

“Oh yeah. Almost forgot.”

Another place where I'd love to hear more of Cody's thoughts. Perhaps he feels a pang of apprehension (what if the amulet she found really would net enough credits for Nylon City?) and then pushes it aside because no object would ever be worth that much.

It thrums quietly with the hum of machinery and flickers with dull neon lights above the entrance. An enormous sign reads above the doors: ‘TRADING POST SECTOR 3’. A handful of people linger outside, clutching battered bags and worn crates, eyes wary but hopeful.

This paints such a vivid picture - well done!

A tall, angular servoid stands behind a counter, its glowing blue eyes watching them enter without a flicker of emotion. Every time Cody sees the servoids, he gets a little spooked. It’s pretty much built to look like a human, with long arms and legs, and even uniform clothes to match. Yet its face is stone-cold and heartless.

So, somewhere between an android and a robot? These particular descriptions are good but a bit vague. I only really know that the arms, legs, and clothes are similar to human arms, legs, and clothes, but I don't know to what extent. Do they have soft skin, or metallic skin? Is the face clearly robotic, or is it somewhere in uncanny valley in its resemblance to a human face?

“J-10? I think I’ll call you Jaden. I’m Lilian Carter. Since there’s eight of them in the database, just pick the prettiest one.”

It ignores her statement and does a facial scan to confirm her identity.

“Lilian Carter. Tier 5. Current balance: 126 credits.”

I'm living for these lore pieces and characterization bits!

Cody glances around at the room inside. There’s four other servoids interacting with other people hoping to barter, and there’s a few other Sub-City residents waiting in line. Most everybody is waiting outside, though.

If Cody and Lily just skipped the whole line I feel that oughtta be addressed!

“Lily. You forgot the amulet.”

“Oh, whoops. I’ll just add it after. It’ll all be on my account anyway.”

Huh, it definitely seems like she forgot it on purpose... is she trying to keep Cody from knowing its value?

“Pure gold amulet. Engraved with the crest of the Milanova Family. Has a direct connection to the Milanovas’ family account and can be used to purchase access Tiers as well as cover spending only within Nylon City. Value: five thousand credits.”

OHOHOH!! Y'all better be keeping that!

Cody gulps, glancing once more into the pit below. Then he grabs the ladder and follows.

I'd expect him to resist a bit more or at least ask some questions about where they're going. This is really enticing though! Does she know a secret path into Nylon City?

But now, standing here, everything changes. The walls of the chasm stretch impossibly high, like they’re trying to contain the world itself… but eventually, they stop.

And above them is Nylon City.

It’s only a sliver. A glimpse. But it’s enough. Cody watches in silence at the breathtaking slice of the glittering display of color and movement, alive with energy. He spots small dots that are likely servoids floating around, ready to serve their rich customers. And behind them, towering high, are buildings wrapped in neon: pink, blue, and electric white, shimmering brightly to keep everyone awake.

Oh this is GORGEOUS. I love that you took the time to slow down and capture this moment from Cody's point of view, the first time he's seeing anything like this. It helps me understand why Lily is so captivated by the city.

But these problems only pale in comparison to what Cody is worried about the most.

What if Lilian decides to never come back?

With how Cody thinks about Rylan and how he still hasn't come back, it makes sense that this is the heart of his apprehension.

Lilian doesn’t speak. She just stares at him, hurt and confused. She’s spent the last few months thinking that Rylan was off partying away, and now that dream is shattered. Cody knows she must feel terribly betrayed and that’s why he never wanted to say it.

I for one am not totally convinced that Rylan didn't just give Cody a false promise and is up there, having the time of his life. I doubt Lily would be convinced either. That being said, I don't know much about Rylan's personality. Is he an exceptionally trustworthy fellow who will always give you his word?

“Come with me to Nylon City. You won’t be alone if you come with me while I look for Rylan.”

She smiles at him—wide, bright, stubbornly full of hope—and Cody feels his resistance start to melt. Maybe it was never truly there. Part of him always wanted to see Nylon, no matter how often he denied it. He just never imagined it would actually be within reach. But here it is, dangling in front of him like a frayed dream, and this time, he’s ready to grab it. Lilian’s still charging off ahead as fast as she can, but this time, Cody will follow.

I think this moment needs to be stretched out a biiiiit longer. This is the "Refusal of the Call" stage and here it lasted all of one paragraph! I'm not saying it needs to last a whole chapter or anything, but it does feel unrealistic that Cody agrees this quickly. From what I know of Cody, even a "let me think on it" would be a better fit for this moment.

Another fantastic chapter! We saw Lilian's Nylon City hopes at their lowest and highest points, some more delightful worldbuilding tidbits, and continued solid characterization work!

Great job on this, yoshi!
Wolfi

Image

Thanks for the review Wolfi!!!!!

I almost think this would be more impactful without that "No. I'm not" bit at the end. I know when I'm close to tears, it can be really hard to speak honestly and easier to either stay quiet or just say that I'm fine until I can regain some control.


Oh yeah like when I'm about to cry if someone asks if I'm okay and I try to start speaking I just start crying like it wont stop LOL maybe this part can be written like that

I still don't know exactly what their relationship is (biological brother and sister? found brother and sister? friends?) but this makes it seem like Cody definitely has some authority over Lily, like a family member would.


Hmm i should probably clarify that they're kind of like a found family. You point this out a lot, but there's a lot that I don't clarify and just let the reader guess at in the beginning, so I'll def remember this

(what if the amulet she found really would net enough credits for Nylon City?) and then pushes it aside because no object would ever be worth that much.


Oooooohhhh thats good. Cause then it starts to foreshadow the "kinda-plot-twist-but-kind-of-expected" amulet being super valuable twist

If Cody and Lily just skipped the whole line I feel that oughtta be addressed!


You know how it goes.... the background characters get forgotten when the writer is too excited about the plot... but yeah im gonna fix that haha

Thank you so much for this review <3 I genuinely feel like I'm improving with each word I read from your review. Hope to see you in the next chapter!!!!

yoshi

Wolfi replied · Sep 14, 2025

<333

User avatar
velvetcatsz
Review
velvetcatsz wrote a review Review · Sep 12, 2025

Hello! It’s CATS here to leave a review! I loved the last chapter and how it ended so I wanted to leave a short review on this one as well. Let’s jump in!!!
The story continues with Cody finding Lily hiding. I can understand her desperation to go to Nylon City and save Rylan. But Rylan went there all alone...he could have easily been robbed or kidnapped. But Lily doesn’t understand that.
I feel bad that she is still full of hope. But that’s how everyone should be like.
I see that they decide to trade for credits! Are credits cash or are they something else? Where did they get the robot from?
They find out that the amulet is PURE GOLD. I think the sensible thing to do is to go to Nylon City and Jeep the amulet maybe just in case. Now I wonder; where did Old Benson find the amulet and why did they throw it out? I am full of questions always so bear with me.
Wait if Lily could see Nylon City...then can’t she see the sky too?
I really like it so far...it’s mysterious and interesting!
Cody doesn’t want her to go but he promised Lily so he has to let her go.
Then she wants him to go with her. That seems like a good idea to stick together.
And they shook on it. NICE!
I can’t wait to hear more about their adventure to Nylon City!!!
To the next chapter we go.
Happy RevMo, Happy Writing, and Happy Reading!!!
Love,
CATS

Hi CATS!!!

Yes, I agree that they should keep the amulet as well. The story would be quite boring otherwise haha

Just for clarification, credits are basically the currency in this world, like dollars or coins, since everything is basically digital!

see you in the next chapter <3

Oh ok...so like the future!! SO COOLLLL

User avatar
ToastK
Review
ToastK wrote a review Review · Sep 9, 2025

Hello yoshi! I might be spamming your notifications bc it's still summer break for me still and I've got nothing better to do lol. So, read my review on chapter 1 first because that's a thing I did (ignore this if you already read it) if you'd like.

First Impressions(Technically second but you get the point)

This chapter started off feeling like it would be another nice world building and bonding of these two characters as we get used to this world of the Sub-city and Nylon. However, boy would I be wrong. I can sense why the "adventure tag" was added.

For the Story
Okay again, I really love the way you write the story and characters. You really make this universe feel lived in.

She’s fast, but not fast enough to outrun him. Not when he knows all her hiding spots.

This passage really highlights these two's friendship and how this is a reoccuring thing from the way Cody has memorized all of Lily's hiding spots by now.

“J-10? I think I’ll call you Jaden. I’m Lilian Carter. Since there’s eight of them in the database, just pick the prettiest one.”
I really love how this highlights the carefree personality of Lily and I agree, that Robot shall be Jaden and now that you have Jaden added to the cast, I need a 5 season spin-off right now.

It's clear that this story is told from primarily the perspective of Cody (or at least I hope so, or else there's a lot of rewriting to do), and it shows all these things that he doesn't say to Lily, even though it comes up to the top of back of their throat, because he cares for her that much.

Once with
Don’t go. You’ll end up like Rylan.

This thought immediately appears in Cody’s mind, but he doesn’t say this either.

and
Just like you. But Cody doesn’t say that out loud.


Also, I can tell that the story is picking up to now show all the wacky adventures and extravaganza that will be happening between Cody and Lily, and if it's written anyway like these first two chapters, I think you'll have a pretty solid piece to come into fruition.

For anything to improve, there isn't anything new/seriously horribly wrong to point out, and like I said previously, I don't mind any of the grammatical/punctuation mistakes since they're easily solvable and grammar is just propaganda made up by writing elitists. Also, as it is the beginning stages, there aren't that many things to go wrong yet and you have made a solid foundation!

All in All
This picks up the pace and feels like a transition chapter from the deep, dark, and grungy world of Sub-city into the colorful, open, but also broken, neon world of Nylon. I am excited to see what shenanigans will unfold as these two explore the world they don't technically 'belong' in, and you've also left crumbs of the mystery of what happened to Rylan.

Great job and Happy Writing!

Hey toast!!

This chapter started off feeling like it would be another nice world building and bonding of these two characters as we get used to this world of the Sub-city and Nylon. However, boy would I be wrong. I can sense why the "adventure tag" was added.


LOL hopefully I subverted your expectations in a good way :P

It's clear that this story is told from primarily the perspective of Cody (or at least I hope so, or else there's a lot of rewriting to do)


Cody will basically be the character being %u201Cfollowed by the camera%u201D so to speak for 90% of the story, so you are correct.

and grammar is just propaganda made up by writing elitists.


AGREED

Thanks for the review!!!! I%u2019ll try to pump out some more chapters so you don%u2019t get caught up too quickly haha

-yoshi

Hey toast!!

This chapter started off feeling like it would be another nice world building and bonding of these two characters as we get used to this world of the Sub-city and Nylon. However, boy would I be wrong. I can sense why the "adventure tag" was added.


LOL hopefully I subverted your expectations in a good way :P

It's clear that this story is told from primarily the perspective of Cody (or at least I hope so, or else there's a lot of rewriting to do)


Cody will basically be the character being %u201Cfollowed by the camera%u201D so to speak for 90% of the story, so you are correct.

and grammar is just propaganda made up by writing elitists.


AGREED

Thanks for the review!!!! I%u2019ll try to pump out some more chapters so you don%u2019t get caught up too quickly haha

-yoshi

ToastK replied · Sep 10, 2025

Thank you for such thorough replies! I saw wolfi mention this, but I definitely agree with her that I love when the author replies this thoroughly to reviews. Also, I'd love to read more (hopefully I have time to read chapter 3 tmr), but please take your time! I am really really horrible at consistently writing reviews so no need to rush haha



Every time I’ve gotten feedback that was hard to take it was usually hard to take because there was truth in it and I didn’t like that (or didn’t want to receive it). That’s not to say all harsh feedback is good or that we should be harsh for harshness’ sake, but learning to absorb truth without letting it break your inner core/break you is a lifelong skill that keeps your mind elastic and open to learning.
— soundofmind